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APRIL FOOLS: RIDGEWOOD, we hardly knew ye

By ipedan

Section: News

March 31, 2006

Think youre living in Ridgewood quad next year? Well, unfortunately, youre not. Harper Construction Corporation has decided to speed up the building process and tear down the quad this May. Hundreds of sophomores will be left homeless just one week after the housing process.

I dont know what Im going to do, says sophomore John Katzman, We just figured out where we are going to live and now all of a sudden theyre tearing down the quad.

Many students will have to find off campus housing because of the upcoming demolition. However, the new building promises to satisfy the housing needs of the student body. The new dormitory will consist of 100 suites, each containing 10 singles, three bathrooms and full kitchens. Students will be equipped with all kitchen supplies, including a garbage disposal and full oven. The bathrooms in each suite will have granite counters and tiled floors. All bedrooms will include a full sized bed, walk-in closets and wireless internet access. Each building will have its own 24 door man and concierge services. Starbucks has approached the university concerning establishing their coffee houses in each building. Monthly parking spaces will be available in the climate controlled basement.

I cant believe theyre finally building a new dorm, says senior Amanda Reyes, Its nice that Brandeis is finally stepping up to par with other universities.

The new dormitory will provide on campus housing for all undergraduate students, which has been a tremendous problem for the university. The Charles River Apartments will also be torn down during this process. Viacom has bought out the dormitory and the future site will be turned into a Wal-Mart.

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