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The glutton: exploring the aisles of the C-Store

By Aaron Sadowsky

Section: Arts

April 29, 2011

Photo by Nate Rosenbloom/The Hoot

As gluttons, we know that the only thing we get out of studying is a huge appetite. The best way to study—or procrastinate—is by taking a trip to the P.O.D., colloquially known as the C-Store. The C-Store is our favorite place to go to get snacks we probably would never have heard of unless we went to college. It’s our go-to glutton locale.

Not to be confused with the V-Store, the C-Store is located in lower Usdan, next to the game room. When you see it, walk in. Now you can say you’ve made one good decision. Look right, these are the candies that are going to gain you the Freshman 15 … regardless of year. Seniors, you can blame the beer but we all know what the truth is.

If you look up upon entering, you’ll inevitably see—well, first the light—and then a glinting blue wrapper which denotes the savior of all of your bad friends out there. Yes, it’s the gigantic Rice Krispies. Apparently more than 4,000 calories, this monstrosity can save you from going down in your friends’ books as the “One-Who-Forgot.” Instead, grab some M&Ms from the candy dispensary on the left and decorate to your heart’s content.

Since you’re getting M&Ms anyway, you might as well grab another plastic bag for the thousands of gummys and trail mixes you can find at the dispensary. Yeah, Brandeis keeps you a kid for a little longer than it should.

To compound the sugar, there are soft drinks immediately following the candy. We agree that the only thing better than soft-drinks is the burping right afterward.

For all of you that disagree, there are countless varieties of teas and juices as well. You’ll find that some of these have immense flavorful merit, while others simply taste like water you could have gotten for far cheaper from your tap. On that note, try them all: as a glutton you should understand the value of trying things for yourself in large quantities.

As we circle the C-Store, you can see the freezer section. College students are notorious for eating frozen and packaged food. From Amy’s Vegan Food to the classic Lean Cuisine, there are countless options with varying nutritional integrity for your pleasure. Interpret this as you may. With frozen foods from all around the world, we can see that the C-Store brings Brandeis’ international mission to your taste buds. There are breakfast foods in case you miss Ollie’s so much that you can’t wait until morning for that semi-delicious french toast. There’s brand name frozen food as well so if you can’t take a trip out to Waltham or beyond, you can get your fix right here at school, which is more than we can say for other aspects of campus life.

And now, what the fanfare is really all about: The Vegan Section. We’ve all seen it— and some of us have quickly walked by it—but we’re going to slow down and take you on a tour. There are all kinds of tofu delights everywhere with noodles galore. Try what you may and revel in Brandeis’ superhuman vegan options. For you kosher folk, fear not, here reside the kosher soufflés that we hear are pretty delicious. It’ll save you a walk to Sherman, a walk to remember.

We’ve given you a taste of the C-Store, but it’s up to you as fellow gluttons to dream, discover and explore. Mark Twain had it all, but he forgot to add butter. Until next year, fellow Gluttons: don’t just live the dream—eat it.

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