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A Brandeis homecoming

I am just a poor boy; though my storys seldom told, I have squandered my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles. Such are promises: All lies and jest; Still, a man hears what he wants… Read More...

Super Bowl previews in desperate need of a sane change

As I sat down to watch Super Bowl XL, beer in hand, I, like most other Americans, couldnt help but wonder why ABC chose to name the most popular television event in history after a… Read More...

Chemistry and Brandeis: hitting the double bonus

Like all writers, I face a certain challenge as I sit to write. First, welcome to my first-ever column in The Hoot, and my first-ever column in, well, anything. Thanks to the Opinions editor and… Read More...

Before this dance is through

In childhood, her pet had been her only comfort. Unlike her roommate, shed never known when it would come. When her roommate got spanked, shed always known why, and how many swats shed get. She… Read More...

Physics Apnea: Why Im so proud to be a college student

Are you proud to be a college student? What I mean is, do you wake up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat, scratching yourself in various unsanitary places, wondering where you… Read More...

Message to a mythical musical master

New York City. New Orleans. Detroit. Seattle. Los Angeles. History has shown that all of these cities have played a role in the development of distinctly American music, with each city offering a breeding ground… Read More...

Game, Set…Match Point?

There are movies out there that are intentionally bizarre. Movies that try to confuse you, or that are so bad, so out there, theyre almost good. Match Point is not any of these things. My… Read More...

Brokeback Mountain: movie of the year?

I enjoy watching cowboy films. Whats not to like? We have our good guys and our bad guys. We are transplanted into a time period and setting that is presumably far simpler, more tranquil than… Read More...

Contact your local poison control center immediately

As Brandeis Universitys go-to-guy for questions concerning serious life-altering issues, such as, Why does the university insist on stocking the bathrooms with toilet paper so thin that it disintegrates at the flatulence of a bacterium… Read More...

The color of twilight

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas She has always been Grandma to me,… Read More...
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