“Dear Eliana, My roommate has been very distant lately, but when I ask him about it, he just shrugs the question off. I really want to help, but he’s just not making it possible to communicate right now. I don’t know how to make the situation better.”

–Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

It’s great that you tried to reach out, but it’s possible your roommate just isn’t ready to talk about what’s bothering him yet. For now, I would just let him know that you’re there if he needs anything, and give him some space. Other than that, if he isn’t willing to communicate, there’s not much you can do. If it seems to get worse or begins to make your living situation difficult, you should consider talking to your CA and letting them know what’s going on. Also let your roommate know that if he doesn’t want to talk to you, there are other resources on campus. Hopefully, he’ll be back to normal soon.

-Eliana

“Dear Eliana, One of my neighbors has been consistently loud on a daily basis after quiet hours, and it has started to affect my studies and sleeping. I really want them to quiet down, but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it by bringing the CA on call into the situation.”

-Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

If someone is being loud and making it hard for you to work and sleep, you should definitely put an end to it. If it hasn’t escalated to the level that you need to bring in the CA, then you can always talk to the person yourself. The next time they are being too loud, knock on their door and politely let them know that you’re trying to work/sleep and that you’d appreciate if they tuned it down. As long as you’re not rude about it, most people will be willing to respect your request. If that doesn’t work, you’ll probably have to go to the CA about it. Doing that doesn’t mean you’re making too big a deal about things, because quiet hours are there for a reason. The CA will have more power to get something done, and the person who’s being loud won’t even know that you’re the one who told the CA; for all they know, the CAs heard the clamor themselves.

I hope the rest of your semester is full of quiet nights.

-Eliana

“Dear Eliana, As a first-year, I’m having trouble balancing all of my classes, sports, academics, sleep and social life. I fear I’ve waited too long to address the overloaded schedule I’m operating on, and I’m just not sure how to go forward with this balancing act. Any suggestions?”

-Exhausted

Dear Exhausted,

It’s really easy to overcommit yourself (especially as a first-year, since everything looks so fun and interesting), and it can happen to the best of us. Now that we’re so far into the semester, it’s definitely harder to get out of some commitments, but you need to remember that it’s better for everyone involved if you take a step back from one or two things. If you’re overworked and overscheduled, you won’t have the necessary time to put into doing a good job.

In my opinion, the most difficult thing to drop at this point would be a class, especially because it goes on your transcript. If I were you, I would take a step back from some extracurricular if you can. Maybe take on a less involved role, or wait until next semester to be more active. Also, if you’re already in too deep, your social life might have to take a small hit (for example: studying with friends instead of partying with friends). Another thing to keep in mind is to not agree to do anything else until your life is under control. Even if they tell you they need someone to bake cupcakes for an event, be willing to say no and put yourself first. Also, be willing to ask for and accept help.

Hang in there!

-Eliana