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An extrovert’s quarantine thoughts: Adam and Eve

Last time I wrote one of these articles, the Brandeis community had just been sent home as lockdowns began to occur around the world and in, well, certain parts of this beautiful country. But regardless, as introverts saw the world turn into a paradise of no social gatherings or events, myself and other extroverts became confined in a level of hell worse than any in Dante’s Inferno. We were left alone with our thoughts. Until now, extroverts have been able to remain sane due to our friendships and being with others; it grounds us and makes us feel secure, but when left to our own devices… the world becomes weirder. 

For instance, as I was thinking about my Renaissance art class that I’m taking this fall semester, I thought it wise to begin educating myself on some artwork. As I explored some Christian pieces of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, I was consumed by the thought: “why do they have belly buttons?” Now, seriously, why? If they were the first people from God, why did they need umbilical cords? It’s not like they popped out of some womb, did they? No, they were made from the earth. And even if they have them for the *aesthetic,* who cut the cord? What being was like, “we got to cut this bro?” Particularly if they are the first human beings how did they know to cut it at all? Was it an accident? And say God cut the cord—seems a little redundant when you think about it. 

If God created humans to be “perfect,” why would God cut the umbilical cord off? Was God thinking to himself as he was forming Adam, “I want there to be a decaying black cord coming out of its abdomen. It should be pointless, in fact, screw it all together. Cut it off we will start again there later, how does a crater in the middle of the body sound Gabriel?” All I am saying is that if I was creating some being, I am not sure if I would add unnecessary stuff right from the get-go. And say they did not need belly buttons for their birth, does that mean they are for more phallic activities?

Thus, does God have weird kinks? I could continue down this rabbit hole forever and slowly shatter the thin veil of fabric that religion sits on, but I will not beat a dead horse. The point being that quarantine has led extroverts such as myself to discover the oddest ends of the universe. I could also go on forever about an idea I mentioned in a former article as to why we have no B batteries. Like seriously, we double, triple and even quadruple up on A’s but don’t have any B’s? What the heck! 

To relieve myself I have to watch Gordon Ramsey videos of all things to distract my wild and crazy thoughts with more wild and crazy thoughts! So as we return to campus with this new normal and adjust, I hope for my own sanity and the sanity of other extroverts facing the same mental fatigue I am from odd thoughts, that it may be smooth and easy, unlike belly buttons.   

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