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Safe and scary this Halloween

Under any other circumstances, Halloween 2020 would be legendary. Not only is this an election year (which naturally increases the intensity of all things horrific), but Oct. 31 falls on a Saturday this year. Can you imagine the parties? Plus, there is a full moon on Halloween night, which would only add to the frightening nature of roaming the streets dressed as your favorite creature of the night. Unfortunately, the pandemic has thrown a wrench into this beautiful possibility. Extra precautions must be observed to ensure the safety of our community. (Best save the massive ragers for next year.)

Luckily there are plenty of other ways to celebrate All Hallows’ Eve without inviting 40 of your closest acquaintances over for a night of swapping spit and sharing drinks. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), ever the arbiter of fun college activities, recommends outdoor costume contests, socially distanced pumpkin carving or even a film screening. 

If you haven’t managed to do so this late into the season, orchard visits are also a fun outdoor option regardless of your age (just don’t ride in any packed tractors). Dorm-locked or at home, one is never truly finished decorating, so keep at it. Dressing up by yourself and turning off the lights can be fun too. You might even scare yourself.

The CDC also recommends a set of guidelines for trick-or-treating. Whether you are on the giving or receiving end of the candy tradition, keep a bottle of hand sanitizer handy. Give treats outdoors and provide pre-packaged, separated bags of candy if possible. As always, stay six feet from all other Halloween goers, and wear a mask! Your Halloween costume’s mask does not count; you should be wearing the standard cloth mask. The CDC warns against wearing both a cloth mask and a costume mask at the same time as that can inhibit breathing, an essential survival activity. Dress with caution.

Thankfully, technology is on our side. By many 1980s movie standards, 2020 is officially within the realm of the future. You don’t need to go outside to have a good time anymore. Enough graphically impressive horror games have been produced in the past decade to scare the wits out of yourself with. Every horror movie ever produced is at your streaming fingertips, so you can select something to your scare preference. Whether that is cheesy kids movies or terrifying Japanese horror, your web browser won’t judge. Horror podcasts are a new and frightening medium perfect for a dead-of-night listen. The internet is also home to the creepypasta, a genre of amateur horror writing catered to the modern age that is shockingly believable.

You can even order a virtual tarot card reading or connect with a psychic over Skype. They’ll tell you your fortune without the hassle of finding a mysterious circus tent, stepping hesitantly inside and learning all too much about how your lover will eventually perish in a snowmobiling accident. They probably won’t mention that.

Do you hate Halloween? You can boot up “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and kick off the holiday season a few weeks early if that suits your fancy. Halloween is a cheese-fest anyway. 

So celebrate Halloween this year safely, with some hair-raising, spine-chilling socially distant activities. If the above list isn’t enough, message us, subtweet us, summon us via demonic ritual, we don’t care! We have a million more ideas too elaborate for this editorial but maybe perfect for you.

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