It’s official, my dear Hoot readers. Art is dead. I mean c’mon, have you seen the Minecraft movie? UTTER SLOP. It’s deeply unfortunate such an affront to art was allowed to be released. We’ve reached a new stage of depravity in which filmmakers are able to jam-pack the same cliches into their big-budget films, now with added brain rot for Generation Alpha. Character development, what’s that? Giving any time to character development would lose Gen Alpha’s attention! For a film whose only theme is “creativity good,” it displayed a shocking lack of creativity in essentially reheating “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle’s” nachos. To make matters worse, the previews shown before the film were for “Karate Kid: Legends” (a sequel/reboot), “How To Train Your Dragon” (a dull live-action remake of the 2010 animated film), “Lilo and Stitch” (a grossly unnecessary live-action remake of the 2002 animated film) and “Superman” (yet another comic-book movie). Is this all we have to look forward to??? Where’s the originality???? Have they learned nothing from Barbenheimer? It seems that Hollywood is completely out of ideas. To be fair, so am I. Over the course of this academic year, I’ve become the Joker, encouraged your self-destruction, fought my alter ego for Tyler Durden, lied about reading, got sad, went to my holy land and fucking died in the pages of The Brandeis Hoot. I’m quite tired. Aren’t we all? Over the last four months, it seems everything from film, the global economy, to our Constitution is on track for collapse. If you’re lucky enough to survive all this, what awaits? It seems the only way to be successful in this awful world is to sell your soul to the evil corporations robbing our country blind (this is, again, if you’re lucky). Yay!!!
Alright, alright, I’ll chill out. I think I may be listening to too much Jello Biafra. If unfamiliar, he was the frontman of San Francisco-based hardcore punk band Dead Kennedys and has released plenty of solo music and collaborations over the last 40 years. From 1987 to 2006, he released a series of spoken word albums in which he talks at length about the political and cultural issues of his time. He is especially passionate about censorship and began recording these albums during Dead Kennedys’ obscenity trial in 1986. Listening to a guy yap about politics and culture for three hours may not be your cup of tea, but I enjoy it! Biafra is well-researched, engaging and funny as he assails the Reagan, Bush and Clinton Administrations, the religious right, corporations and other purveyors of injustice. I’ve learned a lot from his albums, but they’ve also contributed to my overall cynicism about the state of the world. The only ounce of positivity I could extract from them is that Biafra’s prediction of authoritarianism came to pass in 37 years instead of his predicted five years from 1988. That’s nice, I guess. As I learn more from these albums, I’m reminded about how the road to our current predicament has been paved for decades. We’re living in a preventable, but long-constructed nightmare. Plus, if the state of Hollywood shows us anything, it’s that today’s popular art is not adequate to address this crisis. The film industry has been reduced to repackaged IP garbage and no one has the media literacy to understand the genuine art still being released. There’s not much hope for popular musicians either. Whether it’s the zombified corpse of Brat (a once-great cultural moment) or Chicken Jockey, art is no longer made to provoke; it’s made to satisfy an algorithm, become a short-lived trend and then die.
However, I’m going to try to be positive for a moment. To start, I’ll say I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve listened to by Jello Biafra, both solo and with his bands. I highly recommend checking him out and starting with Dead Kennedys’ witty and invigorating debut album “Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables.” In addition, I find him to be very inspiring and, dare I say it, a personal hero. As someone aware of the injustices of his time, he used his music and publicity to address them while maintaining his sense of humor and radical ideals. When his home was raided by police and band put on trial for bogus obscenity charges, he stood strong, won acquittal and continued to advocate against censorship. That’s the type of energy we need to be channeling against the Trump Administration! We must act with the defiance of Jello Biafra to secure a progressive future.
Wait, pause. I’m sorry to longtime fans as this article has so far been relatively normal. I never planned to sell out to the normal article industrial complex, so please excuse me for one second. I WANNA MAKE OUT WITH MATTY HEALY. I AM LITERALLY TYLER DURDEN. JOKER (2019) MADE ME THE MAN I AM TODAY. I LOVE AZAELIA BANKS. “WHALE COCK” BY KIM PETRAS IS A WORK OF POETIC GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!! Phew, OK, had to get that out, now let’s proceed.
I know my call to action seems empty. That’s because it is, in fact, absolutely empty. This is the Arts Section and, like any piece of art, the moral of this article is up for interpretation. It’s up to you to fill in the meaning. Do I think art is genuinely dead or do I just like dramatic statements? Do I think we’re all doomed or do I actually see Jello-esque defiance as a form of hope? Your guess is as good as mine. Hopefully, with some thought and mental health progress, it will be the latter in both cases soon. Positivity is a wonderful trait and one I miss about myself. It’s genuinely important to look on the bright side. For instance, maybe all my politically-involved friends and I will be cellmates in El Salvador! Quality time is quality time and who am I to be picky?
Really though, I’m trying to recapture my sense of optimism and you should too if you feel similarly. It’s the only way we’ll survive the next four years and beyond. Motivation to fight for a better future can’t be fueled by despair alone. Also, my critique of today’s popular art was rather performative earlier. You know I’ll be strutting down the streets of Buffalo Grove this summer with my beloved Charli XCX, Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Wallows, Doja Cat, Sabrina Carpenter and Addison Rae blasting in my airpods. I’ll probably go see that new Superman movie too. I’m a hypocrite, sue me!
With that, my final article of the 2024-2025 academic year comes to an end. Thank you very much for reading! If you read any of my other articles this year, I deeply appreciate it. Thank you to The Hoot for putting up with me for another year and platforming my every unhinged thought. At this point, I doubt I’m employable, but I’m glad you let me destroy my future my way. Additionally, I’d like to extend a big thank you to my friend Naomi, as this is her final issue as Arts Editor of The Hoot. The Arts Section greatly benefitted from her leadership and she convinced many new writers to join The Hoot staff, including me. I highly value her edits, encouragement and friendship. Finally, I hope everyone aces their finals and enjoys the summer! So long for now, I love you all.
