Can you put a price on cuteness?

Pandas are fluffy, fat and commonly accepted as the flagship species of conservation efforts the world over. They’re also by far the most expensive animal to care for in captivity, with their finicky eating and mating habits costing zoos and private habitats as much as five times more than elephants. Giant pandas barely mate, only […]

DCL stands for ‘Doesn’t claim liability’

The Department of Community Living has a problem with accountability. Every year, Brandeis’ housing lottery claims new victims. The process is a stressful one, especially with the recent reduction in housing due to the demolition of the Castle. It would be natural to expect the Department of Community Living (DCL), which handles the housing selection […]

Are we criticizing Betsy DeVos enough?

Betsy DeVos has received quite a bit of criticism in recent weeks, and frankly I find this initial level of criticism to be both unfair and un-American. As Americans, we should be criticizing DeVos much more. To understand why, we must first look at what the federal government’s relationship with education actually is, because that’s […]

Brandeis students devolve into lunacy

Brandeis is one of the world’s best colleges. We’re commonly ranked in the Top 40 in terms of general academic excellence. Most independent organizations who take a look laud us for our top-tier professors, quality science programs and superbly educated students. I know all these facts as well as any other student. There’s not a […]

Restore the Oxford comma to The Brandeis Hoot

We invited Brandeis’ heroes, Christopher Columbus and Joseph Stalin, to our time travel party. At this point you’re probably confused. In fact, you may be thinking something like, “Wait! Those aren’t Brandeis’ heroes. We don’t like those people at all. They are bad people.” Well, you’re right. They are bad people, and the reason for […]