Editor's Note: All contents of this story are false. It was published on April 1 as part of The Hoot's April 1 issue. Nothing of this story is based in reality.
Though three students were transported to Newton-Wellesley hospital with symptoms of alcohol poisoning, last Fridays ModFest was deemed a smashing success by Class of 2005 Senator Alex Amann 05.
ModFest, which was on the verge of being cancelled in September and was delayed numerous times since then, saw approximately 1300 students file into the upper Mods to partake in the biggest party the campus has to offer.
I was a bit skeptical that this would finally happen after the way our student government had squandered last semester, said a slighly intoxicated Josh Sugarman 05, but Ive got to admit, I was wrong, this is some party!
ModFest was cancelled in the fall when the Student Union could not compomise with Student Life and Public Safety on what Dean of Sudents Rick Sawyer called, reasonable demands for student safety and security.
All we wanted them to do was to stop serving alcohol, turn down the music and not exceed 200 students in the roped-in area at anyone given time, he told The Hoot. After witnessing the UMass riots after the Sox won the World Series, I swore to President Reinharz that such mayhem would never happen here and this was my way of preventing it.
Sawyer said he soon realized that not having ModFest would highly jeopardize Brandeiss rankings in the US News and World Report survey and thus decided to relent on some of his demands.
I decided to allow students to have one can of beer each before entering, required all of them to bring their own headphones for the music and raised the amount of students allowed in the Mods at one time to 300, Sawyer said.
Sawyer did not attend ModFest and told The Hoot that his staff reported to him that ModFest was just a small gathering of only 50 or so people.
Students told The Hoot that in order to enjoy ModFest, they first needed to heavily pre-game. Pre-gaming involves consuming large quantities of alcohols prior to attending a big party. Students reported that the Chabad house had the most to offer in terms of diversity of pre-gaming options.
Director of Public Safety Ed Callahan told The Hoot that the three students who were hospitalized were all under 21 and an investigation has ensued to determine which of the people responsible for checking identifications gave them wristbands that indicated they were old enough to be served alcohol.
Our investigation revealed that the students did not posses fake identification, Callahan said. In fact they had no identification what so ever.
Callahan revealed that the four people responsible for checking identification were former Union President Josh Brandfon 05, Assistant Dean of Students Alwina Bennett, Assistant Dean of Students Lori Tensor and head of the University Board of Student Conduct Sean McGuirk.
Since I am positive that our highly qualified employees would never neglect their duties, our investigation is focusing on the only student involved, Callahan said.
Brandfon would not comment on the incident.
Of the three students transported to the hospital, two were released after having their stomachs pumped.
McGuirk would not comment whether any UBSC charges will be brought against any of the students involved.
Former BTV president Nate Westheimer 05 told The Hoot that BTV was on hand to broadcast ModFest live to any students who were uanble to attend but still wanted to feel like they were there. He also said that due to BTV not getting more money next year, the were unable to edit out any of the indecent behaviour that happened. He said that the machine that implements a five second delay costs roughly $10,000 and would have been part of their new studio.
Students who missed last weeks ModFest will have a chance to attend the next one on April 8 asssuming it doesnt get cancelled.
