Crisis in Sherman: Kosher cops on very high alert*
Massachusetts State Police (MSP) are investigating the apparent theft of a waffle iron from the non-kosher side of the Sherman Cafeteria. MSP Colonel Smith is asking the University community for assistance. The alleged perpetrator must have had a really big bulge under his or her clothing. If the waffle iron was hot, he or she might have seemed in pain.
Bennett arrested for violating CAN-SPAM act*
Yesterday in a shocking development Assistant Dean of Student Life Alwina Bennett was arrested by federal agents for violating Federal Anti-Spam Laws.
Traps and Targets Club to acquire assault rifles, grenade launchers*
The Brandeis Finance Board voted last Wednesday to give the Brandeis Traps and Targets Club (Kinda Like Duck Hunt) $3,250 of their requested $5,000 to purchase military-spec M16A2 assault rifles with M203 grenade launcher attachments. This is a huge step forward for our group, said club president Michelle Junger 05 in an exclusive interview with The Hoot. With a cyclic firing rate of up to 800 rounds per minute and 30-round 5.56mm cartridges, we will be a force to be reckoned with.
PERSPECTIVE: How Ancient Greek was saved at Braneis
In part one, I tried to explain why the study of Ancient Greek language and literature is essential to the curriculum of a liberal arts university like Brandeis. This second part explains how Ancient Greek was actually preserved as part of the curriculum at this institution in the spring of 2005. It is about both the people and the ideas that were in play.
FICTION: Beads Part 7: Morocco
Sunlight flooded the room through the open window. A chilly spring breeze blew in, fluttering the curtains and several open folders on the desk. A half-packed suitcase lay open on the bed, amidst neatly folded clothing and other miscellaneous trinkets.
OSTROWSKY: Doug Flutie, New England Patriots coming to Brandeis
This upcoming weekend, April 1st-3rd, the Athletes in Beantown autograph showcase, sponsored by ABN Sports, will be held at the Brandeis Gosman Athletic Center. This entertaining event includes both current and former professional athletes, most of whom have some connection to the Boston area. For a meager 5 dollar admission fee (2 dollars if youre a Brandeisian, no charge if youre under 12), you will be able to shmooze around the gymnasium with the guys and line up for autographs for additional fees.
Lack of alarm clock no excuse with wake-up call system
It all started about a year and a half ago when Matthew Sachs was sitting in Shapiro Campus Center with a friend when Class of 2005 Senator Becky Fromer 05 approached with the idea of implementing a wakeup call service on the new Brandeis phone system. Sachs was immediately interested in this idea, and set out to research and create such a program, which he managed to complete on a train ride from New York.
BERKENWALD: The end of summer vacation
The other day I declared my minor. For someone who freezes whenever someone asks them what they want to do when they grow up, declaring a minor is a bit easier than biting the bullet and admitting you want to be an American Studies Major. But, regardless of the declaration itself, meeting with my professor has led me to believe that every adult in a mentoring position has memorized the same, falsely inspirational speech.
MAIRSON: Mideast Scholarship, A Canard
The Crown Center for Middle East Studies opens at Brandeis on April 5 with a conference, Middle East Studies in the U.S.: What is the Debate About? An answer to that question was given by Brandeis President Jehuda Reinharz in his Solender Lecture at the United Jewish Appeal/Federation Meeting in 2003, entitled Israel in the Eyes of Americans, A Call to Action.
VERBATIM: Endorsement Request
The following e-mail exchanged occured between Class of 2007 senate candidate Josh Karpoff and the Societie Chaotique Brandesienne. It is presented here without comment.
WOLFE: Conservatives coming out next week
This coming week the Brandeis Republicans are planning a variety of events for Conservative coming out week. Because Republicans at Brandeis are one of the smallest minorities on campus, the week intends to show all Brandeis Republicans that there are indeed others who share in their beliefs. To kick off this busy week, on Monday night there will be a speech by Boston Globe columnist Cathy Young. Born in Russia, in 1963, Young came to the United States in 1980, and eventually wrote two books titled Ceasefire: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality, and, Growing up in Moscow: Memories of a Soviet Girlhood.
EDITORIAL: Students should have final say on IPTV move
With the distribution of the new Cisco 7940 phones, students can begin testing IPTV. We urge all students to go into these tests with an open mind and to judge the new system not based on any knee jerk reflex to automatically condemn any innovation proposed by ITS, but to really give it a fair shake.
Admissions imposes regional quotas to boost diversity*
Dean of Admissions Deena Whitfield announced a new admissions policy yesterday that will improve the geographical diversity of applicants for the class of 2009. In response to growing concerns over the number of undergraduate students from the New York and New Jersey region, Whitfield said that the university would be one of the first in the nation to impose quotas limiting the number of students accepted from the area.
April fools: Brandeis joins the Ivy League*
After a series of intense meetings, Brandeis University has finally decided to accept an invitation to join the Ivy League. This decision was made early Wednesday afternoon and has not yet been officially announced to the public. Its about time that weve accepted the invitation, said the Director of Athletics and Physical Education, Sheryl Sousa. The athletic department is ready to face the Ivy League schools, as are the athletes. Its also convenient considering that we are close to Brown, Harvard, Dartmouth, and Yale.
C-Store employee fired*
Early last week Brandeis decided to lay off one of its employees for violating university policy by selling a restricted beverage to a Brandeis student. The name of the employee has been kept confidential;
however, the actions set a precedent for future C-store policies, declared store manager Jeff Wood. Around 11:30 p.m. on Tuesday, March 29, the clerk was caught selling a foreign substance not normally sold at the C-store.
Student Union passed pay parity resolution
This week the Student Union Senate passed a resolution calling on Brandeis to equalize pay between directly employed and subcontracted Brandeis workers. The Parity Resolution cites the Universitys commitment to social justice as reason to, work through the collective bargaining process to correct the disparity in compensation between direct employees of the University and employees of outside contractors.
New diversity Dean eager to take post
Jamele Adams, the new Assistant Dean of Diversity Services, will arrive at Brandeis this fall with enthusiasm and experience. Adams plans on assessing the diversity at Brandeis and seeing what is working wonderfully and what needs improvement. My door will be opened, says Adams, but I will go outside my door. You can ask me questions too. He begins his term in the fall, but he will visit in April to see Culture X.
New phones to kick off IPTV trial
Yesterday Chief Information Officer Perry Hanson announced to the community an immediate and mandatory trade-in of all existing Cisco 7912 phones on campus. The small one-line 7912 phones given to all students will be replaced with larger 7940 model phones which include additional capabilities.
ITS to roll out Power over IP system*
Next fall ITS plans to unveil a new system called Power over IP (PoIP) that will replace traditional campus power distribution. The initiative comes on the heels of several other IP developments: the upgrading of the campus network, installation of Voice over IP (VoIP) phone service, and the newly announced IPTV initiative.
High schoolers compete for SERP scholarship
Two years ago, Brandeis University, thanks to its recognition of the importance of the Arts on campus and beyond in human life, began sponsoring a new scholarship called the Student Ensemble in Residence Program (SERP). Each year since its inception, dozens of high school students apply for the scholarship by sending an audition tape via mail to the Lydian String Quartet.
