APRIL FOOLS: New course lottery system
The housing lottery has passed once again, and another successful year for the Department of Residence draws to a close. The lottery system allows for students to choose their housing in a fair and surprising way. Since the system has worked so well for housing, Brandeis has decided to expand the lottery system to course selection as well.
APRIL FOOLS: Brandeis Police armed;
In a historic decision, Brandeis police were given permission to carry guns. After years of petitioning and debating with administration, the police are now allowed to defend themselves. In addition, to compensate for years in which police felt deficient without a piece, police have permission to carry shotguns instead of the lesser pistol.
APRIL FOOLS: Socially active students: priority in housing lottery
The Department of Residence Life has announced major reforms in the Housing Lottery system. Due to the vast amount of complaining among the student body, Residence Life will now give students with the most friends on the social networking site The Facebook priority in selecting their housing.
APRIL FOOLS: Statue for Chapels Field
Renovation has begun on Chapels field, where Brandeis has decided to build a statue on the field, in honor of the 2005-6 Womens Basketball team making the Division III NCAA tournament this year. In honor of their achievements, the administration plans to erect a gigantic, 300 foot tall statue of junior forward All-American Caitlin Malcolm, and place it in Chapels Field.
APRIL FOOLS: The Brandeis Brief
Gordie Fellman joins gang
Students and faculty alike were shocked by Professor Gordie Fellmans (SOC) announcement that he has joined a violent local gang.
APRIL FOOLS: RIDGEWOOD, we hardly knew ye
Think youre living in Ridgewood quad next year? Well, unfortunately, youre not. Harper Construction Corporation has decided to speed up the building process and tear down the quad this May. Hundreds of sophomores will be left homeless just one week after the housing process.
APRIL FOOLS: Jon Stewart selected for commencement
The Board of Trustees has just announced that famed Daily Show host Jon Stewart will speak at thisThe Board of Trustees has just announced that famed Daily Show host Jon Stewart will speak at this years Commencement ceremony.
APRIL FOOLS: JUSTICE BUYS HOOT
In a surprise move Monday, Brandeis newspaper the Justice purchased The Hoot, according to Justice Editor in Chief Dan Hirschhorn 07.
