Dessert Week has always been one of my favorites. The challenges are more unpredictable, generally look fun to make and there’s usually a healthy dose of chaos. Why does “Bake Off” have an entire week dedicated to the broad theme of “desserts?” In British English, “desserts” have come to mean any sweet treat that isn’t traditionally flour-based. Think mousse, flan, ice cream, soufflé and meringue. This week, the definition of dessert was stretched to the breaking point, but we’ll get there.
Noel is back in a sweater this week, a particularly ugly number featuring what appears to be a pink koala on a motorcycle. The banter between him and Matt is as weak as always. How long will it take for production to realize that these two just aren’t a good double act?
The signature this week is eight individual steamed puddings. A steamed pudding is quite possibly the most British bake ever. They’re stodgy, syrupy and warming. Paul says that the U.K. is “known for having some of the best steamed puddings.” No, Paul. You’re known as the only nation that likes steamed puddings. “Bake Off” has done steamed puddings several times, but this is the first time they’re having the bakers make them in miniature. It’s a good challenge—it looks simple at first, but there are plenty of places to mess up. Most notably, the moment you open your saucepan or oven, all the steam flows out and your cooking time is over.
Less than five minutes in, Paul is referring to Dawn as “mum,” much to the discomfort of everyone. He then holds forth about the scent of his tanning lotion, making me question why I’m even watching this show. Carole burns her plums (not a euphemism). Kevin has decided to go traditional with dense and ugly clootie dumplings. He justifies it by exploring his heritage, even though Scotland has not contributed much to the culinary world beyond toast and shortbread.
Sandro’s apple-cherry-crumble-booze steamed puddings are well-received. Syabira makes innovative watermelon steamed puddings, but her use of extract angers Paul. Janusz is making pina colada puddings, because of course he is, and Maxy is keeping it simple with sticky toffee puddings. Most bakers do relatively well in this challenge, but Carole, who’s barely squeaked her way into week five as it is, suffers disaster. Her steamed puddings, ironically titled “my little beauties” are undercooked and collapse when she takes them out of the mold. They look like sad, undercooked pancakes, and her judging is suitably harsh. Carole seems on the verge of giving up, and it’s hard not to feel sorry for her.
The technical challenge is Prue’s favorite pudding: a lemon meringue pie. Does this fall under the purview of dessert week? Debatable. I would generally associate lemon meringue pie with pies and tarts week, or pastry week. But we’ve been playing fast and loose with themes this series anyway, so I roll my eyes and take it.
The drama of this technical challenge is the lack of instructions. The only direction is “make the lemon meringue pie.” It may seem daunting initially, but once you break a lemon meringue pie down into its component parts (crust, lemon curd, meringue) it’s fairly straightforward. These are all skills the bakers should have mastered long before coming on the show.
Poor Syabira panics, having never made a lemon meringue pie before. She half-heartedly suggests making a sweetcorn pie instead (oh dear). It’s the first real moment of weakness we’ve seen from her, and she massively underbakes her pie crust. On the other side of the spectrum is Dawn, who’s made 500 lemon meringue pies in her time, but she doesn’t fare much better, coming in seventh to Syabira’s eighth. Carole rounds out the bottom in sixth. Abdul proves himself to be a dark horse with second, and Janusz comes first, because of course he does. Syabira deems the challenge to be a “nightmare come true,” and reminds herself that to do well in “The Great British Bake Off,” you have to be familiar with all the classic (and often disgusting) British desserts.
The showstopper challenge is exactly the type of ridiculous challenge you’d hope for from dessert week. It’s a layered mousse cake featuring a hidden design in the center. I’m obsessed. The challenge is deemed a “gelatin-fest.” Gelatin is a notoriously finicky setting agent. Too much, and your mousse will be like rubber. Too little, and it’ll just be soup.
Sandro, already in a strong position going into day two, decides to make planet Earth in mousse, complete with “Sandro Island.” Abdul’s going one step further with a solar-system themed mousse cake, and Syabira’s back to watermelon with hers. After last week’s sweetcorn extravaganza, I’m starting to worry that using the same flavors in both signature and showstopper will be a recurring issue with Syabira. Janusz, meanwhile, is making what is quite possibly the gayest cake on “Bake Off,” with a rainbow cupcake hidden design.
Onto the judging. Abdul’s Star Baker hopes fall away due to rubbery textures. Despite a simple design and a boring hidden surprise, Maxy’s is deemed beautiful. I’m starting to sense just a hint of favoritism. Dawn fails to achieve a hidden design and is miserable about it, but she’s praised for a beautifully textured mousse. After over-meloning her signature, Syabira’s showstopper isn’t melon-y enough. Sandro’s showstopper is deemed “astonishing.” Carole also struggles with textures in a mediocre showing.
In the judges’ pavilion, Sandro and Janusz are up for Star Baker, while Carole, Dawn and (gasp!) Syabira are in danger. Sandro takes Star Baker, finally ending the Janusz-Maxy streak, and Carole is sent home. She’s been on borrowed time for a while, but she didn’t completely humiliate herself this week, and can leave with her head held high.
Next time: HALLOWEEN WEEK. I can’t wait. Can Syabira redeem herself after an uncharacteristically rocky week? Is it Dawn’s time to go? And what spooky concoctions will the bakers be brewing? Join me next week to find out.
