Heyyyyyy Hoot readers, happy 2024!!! I hope you all enjoyed winter break. A staple of every winter break for me is playing “The Sims 4” with my little sister and our friends. If you haven’t heard of “The Sims,” it’s a video game series in which you create characters, whom you guide through simulated lives. As the player, you oversee these characters’ day to day lives, ensuring that their needs are being met. My sister and I have developed a strategy to secure happy and prosperous lives for our Sims. This is, of course, homewrecking. You may be confused by this—most people are—but it’s actually a brilliant way to play the game. The following step-by-step guide will demonstrate how truly lucrative this path can be.
DISCLAIMER: This is a video game and I do not endorse such behavior in real life. Please DO NOT act anything like my Sim.
- Character selection
To maximize your Sim’s rizz, they must be created with the correct traits and aspirations. The “Romantic” trait is essential for success as it’ll boost their flirtatiousness and provide them with additional methods of flirting to use on other Sims. The rest of their traits can be anything you’d like, but I’d recommend choosing “Self-Assured” and “Outgoing” to ensure success in courting romantic partners. In addition, give your Sim the “Serial Romantic” aspiration. This will provide them with the “Alluring” trait, which will make them hard to resist, and is therefore essential to being a good homewrecker.
- Begin by purchasing an empty lot
The game forces you to purchase a home or a lot (meant for building a house) before allowing you to start. You won’t be needing anything exquisite—or anything at all! As a homewrecker, you won’t actually need to buy a home of your own. Therefore, you should purchase the cheapest lot available to save money.
- Immediately rizz up the Laandgrabs
Nancy and Geoffrey Laandgrab are an obscenely rich couple who live in a large mansion. Best of all, their marriage is in shambles! This is your time to strike!!! Both will be eager to cheat at the slightest flirtation, so just pull up to their mansion and unleash that rizz. You can start with a “Flirty Introduction” and if that works, use any flirty interaction that the social selection screen offers (aside from “Confess Attraction,” that weirds them out). In the span of a few minutes you’ll go from complete strangers to madly in love. Continue romancing them until “Ask to join household” or “Propose Marriage” is an option.
If one of them rejects your advances, try the other spouse, and if that doesn’t work, be patient. You’ll have to back off from flirting and attempt to develop a friendship, which may take some time. Once friendly relations have been established, try the “Flirt” option again, and they may be receptive this time around.
- TAKE IT ALL
Whether you ask to move in or enter holy matrimony, you will be greeted with a housing transfer screen between your “household” and the Laandgrabs’. This is the most important step. Start by moving yourself (and any of your other Sims) into the Laandgrab house with Geoffrey and Nancy (you’ll need their income). Then move their teenage son Malcolm into your empty lot (yes, this is evil, but he’s dead weight). Make sure to transfer all funds over to you and there you go! Instead of having to work and pay for a nice home, you’ll have homewrecked your way to a mansion. Good for you.
- You’re rich. What now?
Do whatever you want!!! Pursue your dream career! That is, if you want to work. My Sim didn’t desire such a life (or rather, I didn’t desire that life for him). He (I) decided his only skill was homewrecking and then took it to a new level. After gaining his mansion, my Sim had at least one child with every woman in town. Yes, you read that correctly. Currently, I have to scroll horizontally to view his family tree. In fact, he’s fathered nearly all the town’s children. Most were had with married women. He does not pay child support of any kind. My Sim is evil.
- Get gold digging!
With rizz like yours, the sky’s the limit when it comes to unearned income. All you have to do is use the same flirting strategies from the Laandgrabs on all the other rich Sims. Just flirt with them, ask to join their household, transfer their funds to your household, and bam! You’re richer. Optimal spots for finding romantic partners are the game’s two bars, the club and the gym. My Sim spends all day and night at these establishments, putting his skills to work. He needs these places to meet new people, as he’s already wrecked every home in both towns.
- Get bored
My sister and I haven’t developed our strategy beyond this point. With lavish housing and high income secured and romantic involvement with over half the town, my homewrecking Sim’s life has peaked. You can either get bored or take the rest of your Sim’s life in a different direction. However, this is all I know how to do. It’s the only time I’ve ever been good at a video game and this probably isn’t the strategy the developers intended to be used. Well, thanks for reading! And hi, future job vetters!!! If you found this article online, please know that I’ve probably changed by the time you’re reading this and you should definitely still hire me. Refer to the previous disclaimer for an accurate judgment of my moral character. Thanks!
