Happy quarterfinals! This season has been flying by, and with just five bakers left, the tent is giving us a blast from the past with 1970s week. Bake Off has done “historical” weeks before, from the Tudors to the 1980s, but now the ‘70s get a moment in the spotlight. “It looks like it belongs on a ‘70s sweet trolley” is one of Paul’s favorite digs, but now he has to suck it up and embrace all things over the top and garish.
The bakers march into the tent, in their orange and brown best. These aren’t the five bakers I predicted making it to the quarterfinal, and it seems like some of them can’t believe they’re here either. Noel and Allison are equally enthused by the ‘70s theme, and Allison has gone all out with a pastel floral pantsuit.
The signature challenge is announced to be “profiteroles.” However, it’s not just profiteroles; it’s profiteroles stacked together with caramel. There’s a name for that type of bake: croquembouche. Why was this challenge not simply billed as a croquembouche? Probably because that’s considered too hard for a signature, and Bake Off is trying to make it look like they’ve truly pared back their challenges. Alas.
Although the name for this challenge is wrong, I’m still a fan. I love profiteroles (both making them and eating them) and there’s a lot of room for creativity. Christiaan is going with another ‘70s classic, the black forest gâteau, with a cherry, kirsch and chocolate filling. He’s also making chocolate choux pastry, which seems like a disaster waiting to happen, as choux can be very temperamental. Georgie’s croquembouche is inspired by her love of the band Queen, complete with a white chocolate Freddie Mercury. Half of her profiteroles are coconut white chocolate, and the other half are chocolate and caramel. Gill is inspired by the 1970s Christmas tree her parents bought the first year they were married. Her profiteroles are flavored with chocolate and hazelnut. Hazelnut seems to be a very popular flavor this year.
Dylan has taken inspiration from Star Wars, one of his favorite film franchises. Supposedly, his caramel and banana choux buns will be arranged to look like a droid, although to me the design looks more like a modern art piece (meaning completely abstract). Illiyin is inspired by the afro, which became very popular in the ‘70s. To honor a symbol of Black liberation, she’s using the whitest flavors possible—white chocolate and raspberry for one batch and brown butter, hazelnut and amaretto for the other.
Most of the bakers sail nicely through the challenge, but Christiaan’s first batch of choux doesn’t rise properly. Either the cocoa powder did something weird or his craquelin topping was too thick. His second batch is better. As assembly starts, we get our Dylan Depression Moment of the episode. As he assembles his croquembouche, he says “yeah, I think it’s a bit messy. But … always is,” with the tone of someone approaching his own execution. Typical. However, it’s Illiyin who struggles the most with assembly, as her choux buns are too soft and start collapsing.
Onto judging! Illiyin’s choux is too soft and a bit undercooked, but the flavors are excellent. Georgie’s croquembouche is leaning a bit but in no danger of falling. Her flavors also meet with approval. Paul seems to be searching for a criticism for Gill’s croquembouche. He admits that the choux is well executed and the flavors are good, but he feels it’s a bit boring. Somehow, despite his choux setback, Christiaan has produced a croquembouche. It’s deemed boozy but in a good way. And then there’s Dylan’s, which does not look like a droid but does look very good. Paul loves the flavors and gives Dylan a handshake. Said handshake is promptly undermined when Dylan’s croquembouche starts collapsing.
The technical challenge is a banoffee pie. Banoffee stands for “banana toffee,” and it’s a pie filled with caramel, sliced bananas and cream. Prue isn’t a huge fan, as she finds banoffee too sweet. Now, my motherland of Thailand has come up with the solution to this dilemma—an oreo crust. Seriously, a banoffee pie with an oreo crust is one of the greatest desserts in the world. But clearly this is too advanced for the British, as the bakers are told to make a shortcrust pastry instead. They aren’t given any instructions, but they should all be capable of making shortcrust, caramel and whipped cream.
Everyone blind bakes their pastry properly, which warms my heart. The major challenge is getting the caramel to the right consistency, thick enough that it won’t ooze and will support the banana slices, but not overdone. As the bakers slice bananas, Georgie reveals that she doesn’t like them. “Would you like a straight banana?” Noel deadpans. Georgie doesn’t pick up on the innuendo for a moment, and when she does, she shoos Noel away. On the other side of the tent, Allison is having far too much fun and dancing around on a counter. She gets a little overexcited and topples off the counter. She lies face down on the floor with embarrassment.
Okay, I think I’ve identified the three main themes of the series:
- Hazelnuts
- Dylan being depressed
- People falling down
Anyway, everyone produces a decent looking banoffee pie and the judges come back. Gill’s pastry is deemed “sad” and her caramel is overdone, and she comes last. Illiyin is in fourth with a touch pastry, and Dylan is in third due to a soggy bottom. Christiaan’s caramel is too oozy, and he’s in second (again) and Georgie produces the best pie of the bunch and takes first. In the judges’ pavilion, we learn that Gill and Illiyin are in trouble going into the showstopper.
The showstopper challenge is a “two-tiered gâteau” with a “feather-light sponge.” The bakers have four hours to complete the challenge, which is shockingly reasonable.
Illiyin is using the flavors of the peach melba (the same thing Gill did for her meringue nests, when Paul took issue with tinned peaches). She’s surrounding her cake with a white chocolate ganache.
Ooh, I’ve found a fourth theme of the series: way too much white chocolate.
Both Gill and Georgie are making black forest gâteaus. Gill’s decoration can only be described as aggressively black forest, while Georgie’s decoration is inspired by her aunt’s bathroom. I personally don’t want to be reminded of bathrooms when eating cake, but who am I to judge?
Christiaan’s is inspired by classic Dutch ‘70s flavors, including an advocat. What is an advocat? An edible Dutch lawyer? Nope, it’s essentially an alcoholic curd. Christiaan is pairing it with lemon and, you guessed it, hazelnut. Dylan is taking a risk with a mint chocolate cake, a flavor that is tricky to get right. Paul is immediately skeptical of the peppermint buttercream.
Paul has no taste.
Miraculously, all of the bakers make their sponges with no problems. All the tension of the challenge comes from construction. Christiaan is making a buttercream collar, the chocolate collar’s less sexy cousin, to get a brown/pink/yellow/orange paisley effect. Iliyin’s cakes are perilously wobbly. Dylan is behind on time, but he suddenly flips a switch on his personality and is … optimistic? Weird. “I can work with it,” he says. “I can do it.” Yes Dylan! Keep up the cheeriness! I believe in you!
But as the bakers come back to the tent for judging, Illiyin discovers that her cake has collapsed. She has enough to present, but the top tier has fallen apart. She’s crying, but resolves to face the judges anyway.
Dylan is up first. His cake is well baked, but the peppermint flavor of the buttercream is overwhelming. Georgie’s cake is deemed hideous in a good way, and she’s nailed the black forest flavors. Apparently, there’s an entire bottle of kirsch in her cake. Christiaan’s cake is also very boozy, but, per the judges, it’s way too boozy. Gill’s cake looks great and the flavors take Paul straight back to the ‘70s.
Poor Illiyin is crying during the judging. Her flavors are excellent. Paul says that her cake is a “celebration of the tinned peach.” The same tinned peaches you hated when Gill used them? YOU HYPOCRITE PAUL. But even though her flavors are good, Illiyin is looking pretty doomed.
Star Baker goes to Georgie, who didn’t dominate the week but did the best over the three challenges. And, unsurprisingly, Illiyin is going home. She tries to hold her head up high, but you can tell it’s difficult for her. She’s been a great personality in the tent, but it was her time to go.
Next time: the semifinal! And patisserie! The preview was extremely tense. What absurdly difficult challenges will the bakers have to tackle? How many hazelnuts will feature? And who will just miss out on the final? Join me next time to find out.
