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To acquire wisdom, one must observe

10 things I learned in France

During the fall semester, I studied abroad in Paris, France. It’s hard to describe the semester in a concise manner, but I figured I should write something about the experience. My semester abroad was one of the best things I’ve ever done, and one of the hardest. It came with its own highs and lows. So, here are ten things I learned in France, about myself, about school and about the French.

  • Language is about communication, not perfection

One of the things I was most scared of going to France was the fact that I would need to be speaking French all the time. My classes were taught in French at French universities. My host family spoke to me in French. My study abroad program even had a rule that we were only allowed to speak French among each other. I kept thinking, “but I’m not fluent in French!” I quickly learned, however, that even though I don’t speak French at the level of a native speaker, I speak more than enough to make it through the day and communicate clearly. The language immersion ended up being one of the most valuable parts of the experience. So if you’re trying to learn a new language, don’t psych yourself out because you don’t say everything perfectly. Strive for perfection, but don’t forget why language exists: to communicate.

  • The French academic system is my nemesis

There are many wonderful things about France. The university system is not one of them. French academia is mired in tradition and hierarchy, to the point that you don’t even gain the privilege of having an independent, original thought until you’re a tenured professor. Most of my classes revolved on memorizing and regurgitating what the professor said, exactly how they said it. The classes simply didn’t push me intellectually in the same way American classes do, apart from the aforementioned language immersion element. Oh, and one university I went to didn’t have soap in the bathrooms, due to budget cuts. That was fun.

  • You can get away with a lot as a “smart American”

I’m cheating a bit, because this includes my experience travelling to other parts of Europe, as well. Imagine my surprise when I was in a Danish bar, chatting about British politics with someone I met at my hostel, when a local Dane looked over and said, “Wow, you’re so smart. I’ve never met a smart American before!” I had similar experiences in France. When some French people learned I was American, they immediately started praising my French. One even said “I’ve never met an American who can speak French like that before!” (“like that” being my B2 level in early September). Basically, expectations of Americans were so low that I came off as very impressive by having passing knowledge of world politics and a grasp of French grammar. I know some people who are self-conscious about travelling because they feel they’ll be judged for being American. But fear not! You may be judged initially, but that judgement will change to awe when you are revealed to be a Smart American.

  • Kids are always kids

“The kids are so well behaved there,” is a comment I heard, generally from older people, when they found out I was studying in France. Upon arrival, however, I discovered that kids are kids no matter what. In France, there are fewer public spaces curated specifically for kids (although they do absolutely exist), so children are exposed to adult etiquette rules a little early. That does not, however, mean that they follow them. I witnessed toddlers crying, a pair of siblings get into a fight on the metro and saw a tween boy on a skateboard crash into an old, blind woman and her guide. I also babysat a pair of lovely seven-year-old twins, who fought and complained like any seven-year-olds would. There’s something comforting, however, in the fact that childhood transcends national borders.

  • The bread really is that good

So, the magic of French parenting and well-behaved French children might have been overhyped. But French bread? Correctly hyped. As a baking nerd, I loved sampling all the offerings at my local boulangeries and patisseries. But the highlight was always the bread. My host family had “traditions” (a more strictly regulated version of the baguette) with every meal, and I miss them every day. If you go to France, eat all the bread. It’s so worth it.

  • You can, and will, do more than you think

Cheesey, but it’s true. I think this applies not just to my experience in France, but to study abroad in general. Things can get overwhelming, and sometimes it feels like you’ll never be able to experience everything you want to in just four months abroad. However, looking back at my experience, I realize that I accomplished quite a bit. I challenged myself linguistically, I got to know a new city, I travelled and I grew as a person. At the time, it felt like I was constantly not doing “enough,” but I was setting unrealistic expectations for myself. Study abroad, by its very nature, is a lot. Take advantage of it!

  • Europe has problems too

I think that, from a progressive American perspective, it’s comforting to try and say that across the Atlantic, in this nebulous land entitled “Europe,” there’s a world where everything is figured out. And it’s true, there are many things that France does well. Healthcare, trains, unemployment rights. But there are problems like anywhere else. I had a professor inform me that if I missed a session of class for Rosh Hashanah, I would not be permitted to take his class. Racism is alive and well, but talking about it is still quite taboo. And while the metro is great, there’s a level of resentment that grows the third time you’re stuck in the tunnel with no air circulation for half an hour due to a signal failure. And, of course, everywhere in Europe is different. Going to Europe doesn’t solve all your life’s problems. But at least for me, I had problems but I also had pain au chocolat. And that was something.

  • Plenty of French people are nice

Ultimately, I think the fact that French and Americans both seem to view the other as rude comes to a simple difference in what constitutes being polite. In France, politeness is wrapped up in formality. It’s about understanding status, saying “bonjour” at the appropriate moment, and not taking up space unless you’ve earned it. In America, politeness is all about being outgoing, being perceived as friendly and presenting an air of approachability. Now that I’ve learned how to navigate both, I’ve learned that French etiquette can seem stuffy to Americans while American etiquette can seem fake to the French. Why do I go through all of this? Because plenty of French people are incredibly nice. They might not present it the way many Americans do due to differing rules of courtesy, but “nice” and “French”–even “nice” and “Parisian”–are not contradictions in terms.

  • It’s okay to miss home

At times in my study abroad experience, I was homesick. Or maybe I missed my friends, my dog or just the confidence and ease with which I can navigate my home country. And that’s okay. It’s hard to maintain the awareness of what a privilege it is to study abroad without being wracked with guilt every time you’re not having the best time every second of every day. It was also hard talking to other friends studying abroad who didn’t miss home in the slightest. Was I doing something wrong? Well, once again, in hindsight, I think I have the answer. Missing home doesn’t make you better or worse than those who don’t. And it doesn’t prevent you from having a wonderful, life-changing experience. There’s room for all the emotions. Now that I’m home, of course, I miss Paris. I suppose I’m lucky to have space in my heart for multiple cities and countries.

  • It’s about the little moments

Now that I’m home, the things I miss most about France are the smallest, everyday moments I lived on a daily basis. My walk to the metro, the distinctive look of Parisian buildings, walking along the Seine, petting my host dog. They weren’t part of the highlight reel I posted to social media, but it’s those little moments that make study abroad so special.

If you’re studying soon, I’m so jealous. I hope you found something in this article that’s helpful. And if you’re considering studying abroad, go for it! My semester in France is certainly one of the highlights of my college experience thus far.



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