YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s up Deisians? Greetings from Edinburgh, Scotland! I hope the grind is going well. Personally, I’m loving Edinburgh. It feels like I’m in a literal fairy tale with the old architecture and mountains in the distance. The people are kind, the surroundings are gorgeous, the food is delicious and the pubs are lively. It’s an amazing place that I recommend you all visit sometime in your lives. With that out of the way, I have a question for you, my dear readers. Are any of you happy? Like genuinely? Literally nothing bad is happening to me (knock on wood) and I’m low-key struggling. What on earth is my problem, you ask? Let’s see! It’s probably because I was sick for two weeks, but as you’ve maybe noticed, the art I consume is often a startlingly accurate reflection of my mental state. To find the cause of my unhappiness, let’s review some media I’ve consumed lately. 

• Bob Dylan

Over Winter Break, I saw the Timothée Chalamet-fronted Bob Dylan biopic, “A Complete Unknown,” with my little sister and it was phenomenal. As Timmy stans, my sister and I thoroughly enjoyed the film and loved seeing our man in some epic 60s outfits. This also marked the second time I listened to Bob Dylan for a man. Weirdly enough, the second time was the charm! Bob Dylan’s catalogue, which once sounded unlistenable to me, hit in a different way. I finally understand the magic of Bob Dylan, especially his 1975 masterpiece album “Blood on the Tracks.” His music has provided great comfort to me in Edinburgh, but it may also be the root of my problems. To the uninitiated, “Blood on the Tracks” is largely about Dylan’s impending divorce. It’s a brilliant album, but “oh no, I’m about to get divorced“ is not necessarily the vibe while trying to live it up in a new city. 

• “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez

After hearing it for the first time in October, “Sailor Song” has become one of my favorite songs. It powerfully communicates the feeling of yearning and longing like maybe no other piece of music. I experience a unique sensation while listening to it that’s difficult for me to describe. On paper, it’s a deeply moving sapphic love song, but the sheer passion exhibited makes it so much more. It not only captures specific feelings, but a way of feeling. I most certainly do not know what it’s like to be a lesbian, but I do experience strong emotions! “Sailor Song” is so emotionally charged that I feel validated for all my most passionate thoughts. By validating every extreme emotion I have, it could be contributing to my current state. I also heard it in the pub and no one sang along with me, so… 🙁

• Jeff Buckley covers of Bob Dylan

Jeff Buckley covering Bob Dylan is quite the depressing combo, but it sounds incredible! When you listen to his versions of “Mama You’ve Been on My Mind,” “Just Like a Woman,” and “I Shall Be Released,” you’ll think these songs were written for Buckley. His voice is very well suited to these Dylan songs, but DAMN, they are morose. Not that listening to regular Jeff Buckley is much better, that’s probably worse (have you heard “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over”???). Still, the consequences of listening to this are on me. I knew what I was getting myself into with these artists.

• Instagram Reels and TikTok edits

My Instagram “For You” page is so incredibly cursed it’s not even funny. There are some genuinely clever reels but they’re surrounded by Matty Healy photos, Peter Griffin AI videos and Tyler Durden sigma male edits. On the other hand, TikTok is fine for me. There are some banger edits on that app! My favorite find has been an edit of the film “Brokeback Mountain” to “Sailor Song.” It moves through the entire film in 19 seconds, as the chorus of “Sailor Song” and Jake Gyllenahaal’s iconic monologue play over the clips. The edit is soul-crushing, but soooo satisfying to watch. Not sure if it’s more satisfying or depressing. Despite having nothing to do with my current circumstances, it’s genuinely comforting and I watch it multiple times a day. Now that TikTok isn’t banned, you can find it on @skylarjs3’s page. Thank you President Trump for saving my favorite gay cowboy edit! 

• My Twitter timeline

That last line was a joke by the way. Also, does this count? Some tweets are quite clever and could be considered art, right??? 

For context, I spent the first week of Trump’s presidency sick in bed and refreshing Twitter (yes, Twitter). Unsurprisingly, this took quite the toll on my sanity. In fact, I think the Trump presidency and constant immersion in the Twitter discourse are driving forces behind my current state. I thought I’d be able to avoid it all by being abroad, but social media hasn’t helped. I’m sure all of you are sad and scared too. The number of times I’ve been genuinely happy since Nov. 5 is actually so small and I feel like I haven’t channeled it in a way that will help people. I’ve read a million different tweets about moving forward, and agree with them, but haven’t put anything into practice. When I get back to America, I’m going to have to take some sort of action or these feelings will be for nothing. Also, on the topic of Twitter, FUCK ELON MUSK!!!!!!! AND TRUMP, AND JD VANCE, AND ICE AND ALL THE REPUBLICANS!!!!!!

Conclusion:

Okay yeah, it’s definitely not the art that’s making me sad. It’s at least partly social media and being sick for two weeks. Everytime I go outside and experience Edinburgh, I feel a bit better. I’ll never calm down about politics (and neither should you), but we can’t let the fascist assholes ruin every day of our lives. We need to keep loving life, appreciating art and opposing fascism in all its forms. Yes, there’s a lot more bothering me (and probably you) than politics, but none of us will be able to progress mentally if we let the news cycle control us. In fact, I already feel much better after writing this all out. Pretty cool how that works! Now, the smart thing to do would be to keep this private and start journaling, but where’s the fun in that? Alright, I’m heading to the pub now (for fun, social and healthy reasons of course!). Take care, everyone.

P.S. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!! Sorry for no Valentine’s article this year. Everything from last year still stands (see “Top 10 songs I wanna make out to”). To all the happy couples out there, fuck you. 

Just kidding, have a wonderful day <3. To all my single folks, your worth isn’t defined by your relationship status. Enjoy saving money today!