My dear Hoot readers, I’m writing to you as a changed man. Last month I ventured to a holy city, visited spiritually significant sites and fostered a deep connection to my culture. This city was of course Manchester, England. Home to The Smiths, The 1975, Joy Division/New Order, the Madchester scene, Oasis and many other alternative bands, Manchester is a truly historic city for music. The fact that my two favorite bands ever, The Smiths and The 1975, are from there made it a must-visit city for me. To walk where Morrissey and Matty Healy (Smiths and 1975 frontmen respectively) walked was to be a religious experience. Therefore, I met my friend and fellow Classic Alternative enthusiast, Zach (same name, crazy, I know), for an unforgettable pilgrimage to this promised land.
Most holy sites we visited were associated with The Smiths. Our first stop was The Salford Lads Club in suburban Manchester, where an iconic photo of the band was taken in 1985. It was included in the sleeve of their 1986 masterpiece album “The Queen Is Dead.” Zach and I each took photos where band members stood, like any good Smiths fans would. Then, just as we were about to leave, something amazing happened. One of the employees invited us inside and showed us their “The Smiths Room,” which was awe-inspiring. It’s covered in Smiths memorabilia, posters and post-it notes placed by fans from all over the world. Zach and I didn’t know to bring post-it notes (my bad), but that’s where the holiness of the site came in handy. By the grace of Morrissey, we found one random post-it note with a pen sitting next to it. A miracle!!!!! I wrote “Morrissey and The Smiths changed my life and heaven knows I’m miserable now … thank you for understanding!” in a reference to my favorite song “Heaven Knows, I’m Miserable Now.’’ Leaving my mark on this historic site felt immensely spiritual to me. I’m not joking.
Afterwards, we ventured to Morrissey’s childhood home. Looking at the doorstep where Johnny Marr first recruited Morrissey to form The Smiths in 1982 was unbelievable. It was also kind of creepy for us to be standing outside some random person’s home. Oh well. We later visited “the Iron Bridge” under which Morrissey allegedly (emphasis on the “allegedly”) kissed someone, as detailed in the song “Still Ill.” The bridge was covered in Smiths-related graffiti, which Zach and I contributed to after buying markers. I wrote personally sentimental Smiths and Morrissey lyrics and he wrote something really funny that I definitely can’t print in the newspaper. The next day, we went to Southern Cemetery, which inspired their song “Cemetry Gates.” This is also where the band’s legendary bassist, Andy Rourke, is buried. Neither of us imagined we’d get to pay respects to Andy Rourke in person, which was a genuine honor.
If you were to Google these sites, you’ll notice that they are all in suburban Manchester. After seeing this area, it was obvious why The Smiths were such a depressing band because my goodness was it a dreary place! However, there was something perfectly dreadful about it. It was exactly what I imagined and being there felt like living inside a Smiths song. I love The Smiths because their sad lyrics and happy melodies give you something to resonate with no matter your mood. This was mirrored by the dreary surroundings and joyful circumstances of our trip to suburban Manchester. The city delivered as well, with many holy sites within reach. For example, we saw the Ian Curtis Mural, with its beautifully haunting depiction of the late Joy Division frontman and took photos in front of the famed Haçienda nightclub (now The Haçienda Apartments lol).
In addition, we visited a club called Gorilla where The 1975 performed their entire first album in 2023 to honor its 10th anniversary. Matty looked especially hot during this performance, so I was thrilled when Zach took a photo of me in front of the venue. While that was the only 1975-related spot we went to, I could feel the band’s essence as we explored the Manchester area. Furthermore, I was able to connect spiritually with my beloved Matty by partaking in irresponsible behavior at night!
Speaking of the night, I haven’t yet mentioned the greatest miracle of our pilgrimage. On the night we arrived, Zach and I found “The Temple of Convenience,” which is maybe the coolest dive bar ever. As we walked in, “I Wanna Be Your Dog” by The Stooges blared over the speakers which immediately set the vibe. It was dimly lit with red light and the walls were covered in cool stickers and art. To our delight, they played almost all Classic Alternative music, our favorite genre. As we left for a moment to grab food, “White Light/White Heat” by The Velvet Underground (who we both love) started playing as if “The Temple” was calling us back. Best of all, there was a jukebox with many of our favorite albums as options. They also served Duvel beer and had a light-up sign displaying the beer’s name, which was funny to me as a Duvel. It cost 60 pence more than a regular beer, but had double the alcohol concentration and tasted sweet, so you know we enjoyed ourselves some Duvel beers. Other beers too. Lots of other beers. Needless to say, we spent both nights of our trip here and had the best fucking time. It was truly our “Temple” that we returned to after the day’s religious experiences. Downing Duvel beers with my bro while vibing to Classic Alternative music might’ve been the closest thing to Heaven I have ever experienced. I’m not sure any other dive bar or pub could top “The Temple” for Zach or myself.
Moreover, this article wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my time in London with my friend Anika. After going from Manchester to London, I immediately visited Notting Hill because I ADORE the rom-com with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Seeing the famous neighborhood was surreal, but nice. I also walked past The 1975’s record label’s H.Q., but there wasn’t much to see. In addition, Anika and I toured the U.K. Parliament together, which had me nerding out as an avid follower of British politics. She showed me more cool parts of the city as well, which was incredibly fun quality time with her!!!
My only regret from this trip was not talking to my probable soulmate in London. While browsing at Reckless Records in Soho, a beautiful girl walked in and immediately asked about where she could find The 1975 CDs. After being told they didn’t have any CDs by The 1975, she made an immediate beeline for The Smiths records and began intently looking through their selection. Internally, I was freaking the fuck out. Listen, I know it’s not unique to like both The 1975 and The Smiths. However, she prioritized them in the same way I do. It felt like fate. Unfortunately, I was too afraid to talk to her. I am going to die alone.
Anyway, this was a life-changing trip that I will always remember! Yes, the world is still ending, but I can die happy for I made it to the holy land. In my darkest moments, I can mentally transport myself to “The Temple” where I’m beside a dear friend, drunk as hell, feeling the spiritual power of my favorite problematic frontmen and listening to some amazing music. That level of serenity is hard to beat. Thank you Zach, Anika, Morrissey, Matty <3, record store girl, London and of course, thank you Manchester. The End. Sorry this was so long.
