Haters: Oh no, he said “shit”! That means he’s just trying to be inflammatory without having any actual ideas!

Critics: He used the term “haters”! That means he’s a wigger!

Intellectuals: Why the racially charged dichotomy between “haters” and “critics”?

Many people?: What is this pretentious meta art school shit?

This revolution would not have hatched in my thoroughly irregular cranium were it not for the following people/things:

*My parents-for giving birth to me, bestowing more or less unconditional love upon me, and teaching me how to intelligently question everything.

*TV on the Radio-for being the best musical artist in America (possible exceptions-Kanye West, Lil Wayne, the Hold Steady).

*Christina’s dad (former Colombian student revolutionary and bona fide asshole) -for putting the gears in motion by making me simultaneously pissed off at him and America.

*Andrew-for putting the gears in motion by making me simultaneously pissed off at him, myself, and America.

(This is Andrew’s website: www.macheteparty.com)

*Andrew’s Cooper Union friends-for making me pissed off at art students and hipsters in general.

Speaking of thoroughly irregular cranium, here is something interesting about me:

I’ve never been able to read a newspaper all the way through—including this paper— because of some weirdness in my brain that makes it difficult to process information. This is why sometimes I stare at you with a glazed over look in my eyes when you talk a lot.

T-shirt idea:

Front-Not the next Abbie Hoffman

Back-The first Maxwell Price

Biggest fear: Being branded an egomaniac or megalomaniac.

Biggest hope: Changing America.

A facebook message from a friend (“friend?”) at the Justice:

i thought this might interest you, since you plan to publish a series of potentially controversial/provocative/[if none of those things, at least serious and emotional to many people] articles.

http://thephoenix.com/Boston/News/40095-Well-shut-my-mouth/

Kathleen: So what’s part two?