Thirsty Thursdays have been moved to Monday, according to Student Union Officials. The reason for the shift, sources say, are due to lackluster attendance on the current dates.Its still going to be the same Thirsty Thursday weve always known, said Director of Social Affairs Cindy Kaplan 08. Just on Mondays.

Confusion has run rampant the past several weeks, with several Union officials claiming that Thirsty Thursdays were still operational and Stein officials barring students from partaking of the free appetizers. Eventually, Kaplan stated, the deal was brokered to move the event to Mondays, a day that was more financially sound according to Stein provider Aramark. Students opinions were mixed about the change in time. Now I wont be able to come to Thirsty Thursdays, because now that theyre on Mondays, I have class, said Michael Werner 08, a long-time patron of the event.Im not even on campus on Mondays, said Justin Kadich 08. Brandeis strikes againthis was one of the few events I liked.

Representative to the Trustees Albert Cahn 07 said that he was very upset with the change in dates. I always feel blue on Mondays, and now they move my favorite day of the week to Monday? Im going to cry in my ravioli now.

University President Jehuda Reinharz, meanwhile, sent the Hoot a more pragmatic question via e-mail: Jon: Find out if this Thirsty Thursday is on scholarship.

Still, Union officials say there are some wrinkles to iron out in the process before launching the new event.We havent decided on what we will call the new event, as it obviously cant be called Thirsty Thursdays anymore, said Kaplan. Perhaps Masticating Mondays?

*Note: You were punked. This is an April Fool's article.*