It’s that wonderful time of year where in a little under three weeks, I spend almost three days in various airports. To make things even better, it’s also the holiday season, and you know what that means? Holiday travelers. And holy sh*t are they annoying. 

Don’t get me wrong, traveling sucks in general. As someone who flies across the Atlantic Ocean at least four times a year, I’ve had more than my fair share of flying experience. Why would someone who hates traveling go to college across the ocean? That is a very good question, and maybe when I come up with a good answer I’ll write an article about it. For now, let’s just say I did not think about how much flying I would have to do. But let’s get back to how much traveling sucks. 

I’m a pretty paranoid person by nature, but when it comes to traveling, my paranoia seems to increase exponentially. Traveling is probably the only circumstance when I’ll willingly wear a fanny pack. Why? Because obviously the rest of the travelers are out to steal my passport and wallet. Also, I have to have cash in like seven different places throughout my stuff, because if I lose my purse, only cash in one pocket will get lost. Do you know how hard it is to then find all the places I put cash into? I can’t keep track of them all, which makes me even more paranoid. 

You know what else paranoia causes? The need to arrive at the airport ridiculously early. Everyone’s heard that you should come two hours early for an international flight. But that’s what normal people do, my paranoid self is convinced that you should arrive at least three hours early, just to make sure. 

Upon arrival, you get to enjoy a pleasant stay in the check-in line, if your poor soul has to bring a suitcase, which is one of the main reasons why I choose to fly luggage-less. But lines are understandable. What irritates me beyond belief are the people whose suitcases are overweight, and people decide to unpack them right in front of the check-in desk. How rude and inconsiderate can someone be?  

Let me just start with this: the fact that you have to take off your shoes when going through security in the United States is disgusting. Especially because they don’t even give you disposable shoe covers to put over your socks (like they do in civilized countries), especially in the winter when the floors are wet and nasty. Once while flying during the summer I forgot about the fact that they do that and I wasn’t wearing socks. I had to walk barefoot on that horrible floor. So gross, I cannot.
Unfortunately, when going through security, I’m not only grossed out, but I’m also annoyed. There are so many people that have no clue what they are doing, even though there are posters everywhere that clearly tell you what to do. Coats, liquids and technology go out of the bag and into a bin. Everything else goes without a bin. It’s that simple; why are you there for forty seconds trying to figure out what to do? Like flying isn’t stressful enough on its own without the snails. 

Speaking of snails, people who walk slowly in airports and refuse to move over, are truly a special type of jerk. People are running around late for their flight or just not wanting to spend a year getting to their gate, and you are taking a cruise in the airport. 

What’s even more annoying than that is when the airport won’t release your gate until an hour before your flight. Like, I’m sorry I’m stressed running around with all my stuff and you can’t even tell me where I should be running to? Come on, you’re supposed to make this less stressful for me, not double my stress. 

And finally comes the holiday rush. One time I decided that the holiday rush is a good reason to come to the airport four hours early. Ironically, there were like two people at the airport and I got through everything in around ten minutes. And then I had three and a half hours to kill. Thanks, paranoia. During the holidays, the usual annoyances of traveling increase proportionally to the increase in people traveling. 

Flying pissed me off so much at this point that I looked into boat options. My research informed me that it would take around two weeks and would cost thousands of dollars. And then I remember that I get seasick so the boat might be a bad idea. But a few more experiences like this and I may reconsider. Happy traveling!