Welcome back to the SSIS column, where we answer any and all of Brandeis students’ questions about sex, sexuality, identity and relationships. If you have a question you’d like answered in our next column, email email@example.com or leave a question in the Google Form link on the Student Sexuality Information Service Facebook page. Any and all questions are welcome: there are no bad, stupid or weird questions!
(Note: These answers are good-faith attempts by SSIS to be helpful to the Brandeis community, and are by no means exhaustive or to be taken as universal. If these answers don’t resonate with you, either pay them no mind, or reach out to us with suggestions for improvement!)
How do you safely peg your partner anally?
Great question, thanks for writing in! Pegging is when one partner wears a strap-on to anally penetrate their partner. There are a few things to consider when talking about safer pegging.
A great way to make all types of sex safer is talking to your partner about what they like and what they are comfortable with. Communication is key, especially if you’re trying something new. Consider the position you and your partner want to try, and the equipment you want to use.
Because pegging involves using a strap-on and an accompanying dildo, think about what type of each of these you might want. The size and style of dildo will change the experience and sensations, so talk to your partner about what they might like to make sure they feel comfortable and safe during sex. Two different types of harnesses you might want to try are the underwear-style harnesses and strap-on style harnesses. Both of these will have an o-ring, which holds the dildo in place, as long as the dildo has a flared base. Some harnesses have different sized o-rings, or even adjustable ones, to accommodate different sized dildos. SSIS will soon be selling a strap-on harness as well as some dildos you can use with it, come into our office to check it out!
When having penetrative anal sex of any kind, including pegging, its important to use lubrication. The anus is not self lubricating like the vagina is, so anal penetration without lube can cause pain or discomfort as well as microtears in the anus. Because many dildos you might use for pegging are silicone, we recommend using a water based lube so the lube won’t degrade your toy’s material. Water based lube is also the most cushiony option and can also be reactivated with water, which makes it a great option for anal sex.
And as with most kinds of sex, there is a risk for STI transmission. To decrease the risk of this, make sure to wash the harness and dildo before and after each use with a body-safe soap and warm water. You can also use a condom over the dildo and change it if you plan to switch which partner is being penetrated.
Most of all, have fun with your partner; and communicate clearly before, during and after for safer pegging! We hope this helps, and as always, feel free to stop into our office for more information.