The newsroom is changing, but it is still extremely toxic. As I am writing this, I am feeling every bit of the pain to be an Asian minority, an international student and a woman in a predominantly white male industry. I feel angry but mostly helpless because how slow the world is changing, how I have no way of changing the current dynamic and directly from that, how little to no opportunities people like me get compared to those who have been historically advantageous.

Maybe the data in the Columbia Journalism Review can do us more justice given that 37 percent of the U.S. population isn’t white, only 17 percent of U.S. newsroom staff is not white. Minorities comprise only 13 percent of the newsroom leadership. The percentage of people of color in different medium media companies stayed at about 20 percent from 2005-2017. That’s 12 years, given that we have come a long way. 

While the medium for multimedia journalism has developed and advanced rapidly, we have done almost nothing, or the bare minimum, to incorporate journalists of diverse backgrounds into the newsroom. The results are clear: our stories and angles are not covering the entire picture. How can a newsroom not be toxic when everyone inside comes from very similar perspectives, given their similar upbringings? How will good debates and conversations arise regarding current events if everyone is looking at the issues through a traditional lens? I find it extremely hard, challenging and unbelievable. 

I am enrolled in the journalism minor, and per requirement I have to finish an internship by graduation. I think this is an important hands-on experience that I should complete if I really were to enter the industry later on in life. Not sure where to start, the department internship advisor provided me with the “journalism mentor” website to look for professional leaders in order to chat with them regarding their experiences and for advice. What a great resource and opportunity, I thought. But as I scroll through the page, I stumbled to find people whose faces looked like mine—Asian, and then women. Out of the whole website, there were maybe 3. And then I looked at what they offered to help and do. Thankfully, they had a lot to offer, and I was able to book time slots with them and reach out. 

I was still very disappointed. A sense of frustration arose from seeing so many unfamiliar faces. I am not able to relate or connect with people if there aren’t many who understand my background and where I am coming from. My stress was doubled after seeing minorities like me aren’t being evaluated and selected off of the same basis. In addition, as unfair and toxic as it already is, my citizenship is still Chinese. There’s A LOT MORE to consider than just “trying things out” when comparing to a lot of my peers in class. Followed are some of my major concerns if I were to pursue journalism:

1. Where could I see myself reporting from? China? U.S.? What position do I take in each country?
2. What are the things I have to give up for, in return for reporting in the U.S. or China? Can I afford it?
3. Can I keep up with the ever-changing industry, killer writing skills, and competition? 
4. All else settled, can I single handedly form my own sphere and strength, given the lack of diversity we have in U.S. newsrooms?

Journalism is a job that requires so much more than just sitting at an office, 9-5 on a regular payroll and routine performance. It requires intense human interactions, leaving your desks, doing fieldwork, asking the hard questions, putting yourself out there and being courageous and firm. The last thing I want to happen is to have something in the way of pursuing what someone really wants as a career. The point here is that if the journalism firms/companies truly understood and cared about diversity, they wouldn’t be marketing it SO MUCH and emphasizing it more than it needs to be. It would reflect in their recruitment numbers and data, not in the number of diversity programs they enlisted and newly created. 

I don’t really know what I can commit to just yet, but regardless, the newsroom is extremely toxic. 

I know firmly that, one: there’s two sides to everything. While the current dynamic isn’t changing as fast and efficiently as the world wants it to be, there are still improvements made and people out there who are willing to offer help. And two: one’s ability to write, think and analyze critically will always be the foundation for a good journalist, rather than who you are at the end of the day. But I am not hopeless. Ultimately, I hope someday it’s less about the numbers, but more about the stories we tell as a group of storytellers.