Sun Tzu once said “If you know the enemy and know thyself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Our enemy, in this case, is those who don’t enjoy our favorite frozen treat: ice cream. And if we had to fight 100 battles in defense of our favorite dessert, we have complete confidence we would emerge unscathed. If ice cream has 100 fans, we are two of them. If ice cream has 10 fans, we are two of them. If ice cream has two fans, it is us and us alone. If ice cream has no fans, we will no longer be on this earth.
Joe Biden, the President of the United States, is an ice cream enjoyer. Before he became president, he proclaimed his love for “ice cream, aviators [sunglasses] & @Amtrak.” Very cool, Joe.
291.09 million Americans ate ice cream in 2020 and 96% of Americans liked ice cream in 2018. Despite a very vocal minority, ice cream is beloved by everyone. The only debate that should surround ice cream is what flavor is best. And for that, we have differing opinions.
For me, there’s nothing better than going and getting some soft-serve twist ice-cream. The ability to have both chocolate and vanilla in one cone mixed together—with hard ice cream, you would have to do separate scoops—is something unique and makes it my favorite dessert. The lack of a soft-serve machine at Brandeis is one of the biggest flaws of our dining halls.
Soft serve is special. You can’t get it at the store and most ice cream shops don’t even have it, making the times when you get it all the more special. And its texture is also unmatched. It’s ice cream that you can actually lick, and not have to bite in order to get a proper mouthful. And its simplicity is its strength. With only three options—vanilla, chocolate, and twist, you know that you’ll always be getting something amazing.
The best ice cream I’ve ever had was lavender ice cream from The Blue Pig, an ice cream shop in Croton-on-Hudson, New York. It tasted like a field of wildflowers smells, and I will never forget it. Despite this out-of-body-experience, pistachio ice cream is, undoubtedly, the best ice cream flavor. I’ve been asked why I don’t prefer more traditional flavors like chocolate chip cookie dough or strawberry, but I’ve got to be true to myself.
When I eat pistachio ice cream, I feel like I’m doing something healthy. Finding a healthy snack embedded in my frozen treat lets me trick myself into thinking that I’m actually eating something with real nutritional value. Pistachio is also consistent: it’s really hard to make bad pistachio ice cream, but it’s easy to make great pistachio ice cream.
I’m also a big fan of chocolate peanut butter ice cream, mocha (chocolate-coffee) ice cream and at times even just vanilla ice cream. There are so many different flavors, why should I limit myself to just one? As for toppings, I’m a big fan of hot fudge and chocolate bonnet but I disapprove of sprinkles.
But, the most important thing to note here is that all ice cream is good. Some ice cream is better, but even the cheap stuff is amazing. All ice cream is good ice cream.
Getting straight to the pint:
Regardless of our differing opinions on what the best ice cream flavor is, it’s clear that ice cream is the one thing that we can all agree upon. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
If you need local ice cream recommendations, you should check out Lizzy’s on Moody Street. They have dozens of flavors, and if you walk there with friends you can make a nice evening out of it.
And of course, if you want to stay on campus, a midnight C-store run is a time-honored Brandeis tradition. But they’ll probably be out of all the good flavors by the time you get there.