To acquire wisdom, one must observe

A response to the unfair fruit ranking of my fellow editors

Last week, my fellow editors Justin and Victoria posted the first half of their 50-1 fruit ranking. In this fruit ranking, they included several fruits they had never heard before, meaning they failed to truly capture their brilliance. Many of these fruits hail from Southeast Asia. Half of my family lives in Southeast Asia, and I go there every year, so these fruits are very close to my heart. And so, here is my defense of the most unfairly maligned fruits from last week’s article. 


Granadilla: Granadilla (more commonly known stateside as passion fruit) came in at a measly fiftieth place. But this is false! Passion fruit is an amazing fruit, particularly for people who enjoy tartness and texture in their fruits. Mango passion fruit is a classic smoothie flavor. Passion fruit curd is great to spread on toast. Passion fruits are lovely when eaten with a spoon. They are a refreshing, nutritious, and delicious fruit that should be at least in the top 25.


Tamarind: Coming in at 49th on the previous list, tamarind is a rich, sweet and sour fruit common in both savory and sweet dishes. It is a truly magical fruit. Plus, it is an integral part of Thai and Indian cuisine, so if you like Thai and/or Indian food, you like tamarind. So there.


Longan: HOW DID LONGAN COME IT AT 48. It’s like a lychee but even harder to stop eating, and easier to peel. They are a delicately sweet fruit, and are extremely refreshing and juicy. Longans are my go-to TV snack. They are so good. 


Rose Apple: Justin claimed that rose and apple together doesn’t sound good, resulting in its 47th place rating. Well, I beg to differ. Firstly, rose apples are called rose apples based on their color, not flavor (they are also known as wax apples). Secondly, rose apples are my all time favorite fruit. They’re like an apple if it was sweeter, crispier, juicier, and bigger. Perfect all round. A ten out of ten fruit that deserves number one on this list.


Mangosteen: How dare Victoria insult the Queen of Fruits like this? They ranked it at 42. The horror. Yes, mangosteen is known as the queen of fruits. It’s like if a banana, a lemon, and a kiwi came together to produce a perfect fruit child. Sure, the peel can stain your clothes, but it tastes so good. And also, it looks perfect, whatever Victoria might think.


Durian: Yes, durian smells bad. But Justin didn’t even remember what it tastes like, resulting in a wishy-washy 38 placement. I can tell you what it tastes like: it tastes like what it smells like. Which is bad. Durian should have been in the bottom ten (sorry mom, I know this is one of your favorites).


Rambutan: Rambutan is another one of my all time favorite fruits. It’s like a sweeter, juicier lychee that also looks more fun. The only knock I have on it is that the pit is a bit difficult to eat around. But the flavor more than makes up for it. And yes, maybe Justin said it looked fun, but also ranked it at 36! Rambutan is a top ten fruit. At least.


Pomelo: Coming in at 35, Justin claimed that pomelo reminded him of a grapefruit. Not a good grapefruit. FALSE. Pomelo is the final Pokemon form of grapefruit. It is a gigantic, extra flavorful grapefruit. It is amazing. It is perfect. Grapefruit pales in comparison. Pomelo is amazing. End of.


Jackfruit and Dragonfruit: Jackfruit and dragon fruit come in at 28 and 25 respectively. They were the highest ranking Southeast Asian fruits, despite being some of the worst Southeast Asian fruits on this list. Jackfruit has too much flavor, and dragon fruit has no flavor. Jackfruit also has an odd rubbery texture, while dragonfruit is unpleasantly mushy. A cool name can only get you so far. 


To conclude, Southeast Asian fruits are amazing and everyone should eat them. Thank you and good night.

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