Hello! Welcome back to Hoot Recommends, the series where The Hoot recommends things. In this edition, we’ll be talking about our favorite fruits!
Cooper: I like apples. Apples come in so many different varieties, like green and red. And that’s about it! But seriously, my favorite type of apple is a nice, classic gala. Red delicious apples are genuinely disgusting. I cannot believe that people like them. Yes, they are red. But they are most certainly not delicious. I can abide by a granny smith apple, but I cannot abide by those trendy little tiny apples that some bourgeois grocery stores sell. What is the point? If you want apple, eat big apple. Not small apple. Because small apple is bad.
Michael: I love almost every fruit there is. Apples are nice, and Fuji apples are the literal greatest thing since sliced bread. Also, bananas! You can’t go wrong with bananas, at least until they start to turn brown. Watermelons are probably the single best fruit to ever exist. They’re sweet, cold and wet and it’s the perfect combination when you’re too hot or thirsty. A freshly sliced watermelon, with the air conditioner on full-blast–instant perfection. It’s a shame that around here you can only get good ones in the summer.
Rachel: There are a lot of wonderful fruits out there. It is probably one of the best categories of foods out there. However, when talking about my favorite fruit, I want to highlight a special subcategory of fruits: berries. Of course, there are arguments about what really is a berry (bananas are somehow a berry?). For the sake of this blurb, we are talking about the fruits that have “berry” in the name. These types usually have the best flavor with the right amount of sweetness and the right amount of juiciness. Specifically, the best of the berries are strawberries and raspberries. In a perfect world, raspberries would be number one, as they have the best flavor overall. However, the texture is too inconsistent, and sometimes a serving of raspberries ends up too mushy, which ruins the run of them. Therefore, if we are talking about the best balance of flavor and texture consistency, then strawberries will reign supreme. A nice and big strawberry with a good crunch and a delightful flavor is the ideal fruit. Strawberries are amazing and a nice bowl of strawberry will always perk me up, no matter my food. I am grateful for the existence of strawberries, and they make the world a better place.
James: Watermelon. Do I really need to elaborate? Probably not. It’s just the best fruit. It’s perfect with a good hot dog (or even a bad hot dog). Watermelon is the best fruit out there, and it’s not even close.
Jenna: While I would normally say strawberries, I have been into kiwis lately. I like how they are one of the only sour fruits and come in a few different varieties. I’ve been picking up “golden” kiwis on my recent Market Basket trips and have enjoyed them with my lactose-free yogurt breakfast. Just cut a kiwi down the center and grab yourself a spoon; what’s more easy, sweet, sour and enjoyable than that? Also, kiwis are really beautiful fruits. Like a gem, a strange fuzzy brown ball is cut to reveal a perfectly circular string of seeds with a gradient green emanating from the center. Basically, have a kiwi if you haven’t in a while; you’ll thank me later.
Avery: Since Cooper glossed over what is clearly the best fruit, it is my humble duty to rectify this injustice. Granny smith apples are the true best fruit in their simplicity, adaptability and versatility. Plain granny smiths are biting, refreshing and lovely. In a pie, cake or perhaps even a tart, granny smiths provide a sourness that balances out the sweetness of any pastry. Additionally, granny smiths are aesthetically pleasing. Unlike red apples that can be slightly brown, muddy or an unpredictable palate smash of reds and yellows, granny smiths are a dependable, recognizable bright green, promising a refreshing, tart treat.
Ella: I would have to agree with James. Watermelon is the best fruit out there. Fun fact: I am actually (technically) allergic to watermelon. For a while, I had to heat up my watermelon in the microwave and then refrigerate it to even be able to eat it. Don’t ask me how I figured that out. Anyway, after eating a little bit of heated-up-then-refrigerated watermelon for many years, I slowly built a tolerance to it and now I can enjoy as much as I want, without the microwave part, and whenever I want. I still get minor allergy symptoms such as an itchy throat from time to time, but it’s nowhere near the reaction I would get before building up this tolerance. I think it’s my favorite fruit now because I went so many years not being able to have it. It’s delicious, refreshing, sweet and thirst-quenching. What more can I ask for in a fruit?
Jason: Have you ever been exhausted, hungry, after playing hard as a child, and all you were craving was the nectar of the gods? There has been no greater thirst quencher than a juicy, giant mango. Even mango as an artificial flavor truly clears most fruits; like, it’s truly the best fruit on the planet. It has objectively the best texture out of all the tropical fruits. Mango is amazing in every single context. Juice, ice cream, in boba, fresh, dried, smoothies, sticky rice.
Lucas: I don’t understand what certain people here have against red apples? They’re great. I would consider apples my favorite fruit, and while I’m not one to pay too much attention to all the different apple names, I do know that the red ones generally taste better than the rest. Certainly better than the green ones—if there is any type of apple I truly cannot abide, it’s green apples. Green apples like to take everything good about apples, and fruits in general really, and pervert it—they are sour instead of sweet, hard instead of soft. They are the worst apples. Even in appearance they are inferior; while red apples look plump and delicious, green apples look like venomous snakes in apple form.
