Welcome back to the SSIS column, where we answer any and all of Brandeis students’ questions about sex, sexuality, identity and relationships. If you have a question you’d like answered in our next column, email ssis@brandeis.edu or leave a question in the Google Form link on the Student Sexuality Information Service Facebook page. Any and all questions are welcome: there are no bad, stupid or weird questions! 

(Note: These answers are good-faith attempts by SSIS to be helpful to the Brandeis community, and are by no means exhaustive or to be taken as universal. If these answers don’t resonate with you, either pay them no mind, or reach out to us with suggestions for improvement!)

How do I know which size dilator is right for me?

Thank you for writing to SSIS! The appropriate size dilator is dependent on the width of each person’s vaginal canal. It may be difficult to determine what size is right for you without knowing your comfort level with penetration. Thus, if you have never experienced any vaginal penetration, I recommend starting with a smaller size dilator and working up from there. There, you can feel the sensation of that size and if the dilator is able to be inserted easily and without any discomfort, then I recommend moving up in size. But, if you feel a tight sensation and slight pain, this indicates that the dilator is probably an appropriate size and is properly relaxing your pelvic floor in preparation for future penetration. If you have experienced vaginal penetration prior to experimenting with a dilator, you may be better equipped to know what size is right for you—if the penetration you have received prior was consistently painful or uncomfortable, you may also want to start with a smaller size, but if you are accustomed to penetration and do not typically experience any pain, you can start with a larger size. Everybody is unique and different, so it may take some trial and error to find the proper dilator for you. Let us know if you have any questions!