So, it seems like fate has decided that you will be going to this concert alone. At this point, you might be frantically messaging friends of friends to see if anyone under the sun could possibly join you. You might even be reconsidering your choices altogether. But as a frequent solo concert attender, I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing to fear.
I won’t lie to you and say I would always prefer to go alone. Having a buddy or two is great for feeling safe and confident, talking with someone about the experience and making the return journey more bearable, among others. Yet the allure of trying it on your own, if just to prove that you can, is intoxicating. Though often quite daunting, it comes with perks, especially the ritual you establish with each repetition. Now, I am not here to proclaim myself as an expert on best concert practices. However, having seen two dozen concerts since 2022—a third of those alone—I’ve narrowed down what works for me and what doesn’t. The following tips are not all necessary, though I believe each are good practices for getting the most enjoyment out of the experience.
Be intentional in your search (and your commitment). The zeroth step to having a positive night out is, of course, picking something you like, especially since you’re only choosing for yourself. This starts with procuring your tastes. If you know there’s a certain group or certain sound you really like, follow it! Keep tabs on your favorite artist and the bands they run with, as they will often lead you to something exciting. One of the best ways I’ve found out about events in the past has been through the venues; any time I would see a band at a particularly cool venue, I’d follow its Instagram and try to get on its newsletter. Those emails are sent regularly, and the more you follow, the more you feel like you know what’s going on in your neighborhood. Additionally, booking apps (Ticketmaster, Stubhub, etc.) and independent websites (Bandsintown, Songkick) also track who’s performing where. If you’re really dedicated to hearing cool live music, be open to trying unique venues like community centers or basements. These options may feel overwhelming, but trust that the right opportunities will call to you. Don’t feel obligated to see that popular artist just because they’re in town, nor to see the band with the stupid name just because the tickets are cheap. If you’re only mildly interested, then there’s no harm in waiting until the last minute. But if you care a lot about seeing a certain artist live, and you see the tickets on sale at a reasonable enough price, don’t wait to buy one. You will almost always regret having waited too long and missing your chance rather than jumping the gun too easily and wanting out beforehand. Additionally, some tickets come with the option of insurance for a small fee, which can be worth it for weeknight shows.
Evaluate your expectations. Since you’re carrying yourself through this concert, ultimately you will set and maintain the tone of the night. Although any band or artist on a large-ish tour will be operating professionally, the nature of the live show is that there are many moving pieces and variables; it’s extremely difficult to replicate the consistency of studio recordings in a live setting, which means there will be a natural deviation between what you’ve streamed and what you’ll get. If you lean into this, you’ll be more likely to be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed. Ceding control and submitting to the flow of the night like this is a very powerful attitude that can help you go with the current and coast through the ride. As a result, I suggest (maybe controversially) not to do too much research online beforehand. While it may be useful to find out what times the opener and headliner start, looking up previous setlists and opinions online can prime you to a certain perspective before you’ve decided for yourself. Yes, it’s very possible they won’t play your favorite song, or the mix might sound muddy; yet it’s equally possible that they’ll unveil a new song or fresh sound that knocks your socks off. The element of surprise is your friend. Optimally, you’ll pick a time to arrive, a plan for return and nothing else; the rest will unfold as it does.
Care for your body. Your body is the means by which you can enjoy these things, and it’s especially important to pay attention to its needs when you may be standing, dancing or moshing for a while. This care isn’t just related to what you put in your body over the course of the night—it’s supporting yourself in every aspect to enjoy the concert the most. That means going to bed at a reasonable hour the night before, wearing comfortable enough clothing to move around in and bringing earplugs (even if you don’t plan to use them!). Make sure your stomach is full before entering the venue (or get food there). It’s also very important to hydrate, both at the show—I suggest at least two small cups, including a potential mid-show break—and throughout the day. This is doubly important if you’re planning on moshing at the show, and triply important if you’re planning on drinking at all. While substances can conceivably improve a concert experience, it can be risky combined with the tight spaces, exercise and lack of company to keep an eye on you. If you choose to consume, do so on a full stomach and know your limits. In general, it’s better to wish you were more intoxicated than less. The last thing about substance use is it can twist your emotions in the moment and warp your memories for the future. All in all, being your own captain for the night, it’s crucial to keep your ship afloat.
Choose general admission shows. For those unfamiliar, general admission concerts have no seating, one set ticket price and tend to be in smaller venues. This is not to diss arena shows—they have their time and place, especially for more popular artists—but I think GenAd concerts tend to give the average person the most bang for their buck. You can get closer to the band, heightening the intimacy and sound quality, you can walk around as you please for water and air, and you feel more loose and free, all while paying less than you would to see the big name on a big screen with thousands of others.
Explore before you pick your spot. Once you arrive, especially to a general admission show, walk around! Find the bathrooms, the exits, the bar(s), the merch table and a good spot to go if it gets too warm or claustrophobic inside the crowd. This is great to do while the opener is on and people are still filing in, milling about and getting drinks/merch. This practice has several benefits—finding the best spot based on how it sounds, familiarizing yourself with the organization of the venue (for ease of movement and exit), and getting a survey of the rest of the crowd. When I’m at a show alone, I love to observe the other audience members; how old are they? Are they alone? What are their outfits like? What else can I say about them? This exercise doesn’t do much, but it’s an exciting way to understand the local community as well as the commonalities among fans of this artist/band. It can also help center you in the moment and maybe even give you cues to other common practices. After you’ve done a lay of the land like this, a good spot will often reveal itself and you can plant yourself there for the rest of the night.
Limit your documentation. Let’s get real—you’re not watching that shaky video you took of the performance. It will maybe be posted once on your story to a few loyal likers, then sit taking up digital space in your archive for years to come like your elementary school notebooks hidden in a box in the basement. But that’s okay. Concerts are meant to be experienced! Take a couple photos, a video or two if you must, but think to yourself as you take them—what’s going to happen to this media? Overall, if you limit your phone use, I believe you’ll remember the night more fondly.
Let your body (and mind) run free. Remember to enjoy the feel of hearing live music! This was the reason you came, and it’s an intoxicating feeling that can have you moving in wild ways. It doesn’t matter if you’re tapping your toe or shaking your whole body—however you feel the music, just let it flow through you and feel it! Nobody else is spending any time thinking about how your dance moves look, so why not just go crazy? In the crowd you can truly let go of your inhibitions and move freely, without fear of invading the personal space of others. A show can be an opportunity to free your body and mind from the tensions of ordinary life; just as with your body, it’s nice to let your mind run without judgement. You may find yourself drifting away from directly focusing on the music, and your thoughts going to homework, old friends or your bed. At my last concert, during a longer song, I found myself trying to remember the names of my middle school teachers. It might sound weird, but letting yourself at times feel the music naturally without trying to focus specifically on the details of it can be so freeing.
Talk to at least one person. It doesn’t really matter how, or where—it could be in the merch line, the bathroom line, in the back row before it starts, by the coat check or outside afterwards, but challenge yourself to prove you can do it. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, but you have the unique opportunity to connect with someone who shares an interest with you, and you might be surprised by how it goes. I promise you will think fondly of this interaction, even if you never see them again.
Have a moment with yourself after the show ends. One of the only drawbacks of going to a concert with people is the way your opinions can sway each other. You might have had a fine time out, but if your friend hated the band, suddenly you might be more aware of the things you disliked and keep those in your memory later, tainting your recollection of the night. This time is different. As you step out into the refreshing night air, the breeze hits you and it’s instantly refreshing. Whether it was disappointing or life-changing, you’ll be home soon. Take this moment before you step into your Uber or run to catch the train to take it all in, to reflect on the past few hours and how they felt. Bask in it for just a moment, and let yourself hold your own opinions in your head alone, before you talk to anyone else. Seal in this adventure within your head as something you braved alone and lived to tell the tale, forever changed as a result. And then, finally,
Go home and get some sleep.
