Kids say the darndest things

Over the summer I took on a new job which was nothing like my previous one. You see, in high school and for my first year of college I worked at a restaurant because all my friends worked there and we loved the managers. Shoutout to Val’s restaurant in Holden—best chicken Marsala in North America. […]

Brandeis rakes in the honors from the fall season

On Thursday Nov. 11, Lara Verstovsek ’25, the first-year right-side hitter, on the volleyball team was named second-team All-Association selection by the University Athletic Association (UAA). The best offensive player on the team, Verstovsek averaged 2.72 kills per set (the most on Brandeis’ team), placing seventh in the conference, but ranked fifth for her 275 […]

Was ‘Eternals’ worth the wait?

[Warning: this article contains spoilers] Last Friday, the newest installment to the Marvel Cinematic Universe was introduced to the world: “Eternals.” Now you could go to official movie reviewers and get a far more holistic and comprehensive review of the movie but why would you do that when you have us, your friendly neighborhood uninformed […]

The real Brandeis housing survey

On Monday, Nov. 8 the student body received what I would consider to be one of the least and most important emails we may ever get—a housing survey. My eyes watered at the thought of being able to rip Brandeis a brand new one as I would tear the survey apart and criticize every part […]

Student Union round two special election results

The Student Union held its second round of special elections for the Fall 2021 semester on Nov. 4, according to an email sent by Jasmyne Jean-Remy ’22, Student Union Chief of Staff. Students had 24 hours to vote in the elections. The Senate position that was voted for was secretary. The other positions on the […]

Celebrity signature insights

Brandeis, you may not have asked for this, you may not have wanted this but by God do you absolutely not need this. Today myself and Rachel Landis ’23 want to bring the world of stardom a little closer to this campus, and no we are not extending the Rabb Steps into space. Instead, today […]

Women’s basketball faces loss in preseason

On Monday, Nov. 1, the Brandeis women’s basketball team held a preseason scrimmage against Assumption University in the Red Auerbach Arena here at Brandeis University. Assumption University, a Division II school from Worcester, Massachusetts, held the lead throughout most of the match. The Greyhounds, led by coach Kerry Phayre, kept the pressure on the Judges […]

The great Brandeisian façade: Accessibility on crutches

Despite the hard-earned academic acclaim Brandeis receives as an institution it has continuously sat at #48 on the list of ugliest college campuses in America. As described by the college reviewers from COMPLEX magazine, despite Brandeis hiring one of the most renowned modern architects of the twenty first century, Eero Saarinen, his skill was not […]

Tennis scoring for dummies

If you are looking at this article that means one of two things: you either are perusing through the paper for something to catch your attention or you are someone who truly wants to learn how scoring in tennis works. Now do not worry, you will not be judged (Brandeis pun please laugh now) for […]

‘Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero’–super expectations

At the 2021 New York Comic Con (NYCC), TOEI Animation and Shuesiha finally revealed the trailer for the next movie installment in the Dragon Ball franchise. The last movie to be released in 2019, “Dragon Ball Super: Broly,” was a huge success around the world, raking in $116.5 million and making the film the 11th […]

Horoscopes—week of Oct. 17

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my version of Squid Game. Now although you will not be captured in your sleep and forced to play children’s games for money, you will be subject to my all-knowing will. Your fate for the week is bound in your willing participation in the process of how your fate will […]

Backpack stigma

When you’re on a college campus, self-expression becomes vitally important because over the course of your four years you are free to be who you truly are and explore who you want to be. If you want to walk around dressed like Naruto then do it! There is no one here that will clip your […]

American railroads, in need of a deadweight loss

What is the single easiest Christmas or birthday present for a toddler? Whatever you are thinking is wrong because it without a doubt has to be Thomas the Tank Engine toys. If you happened to guess Thomas the Tank Engine toys then good for you, but everyone else, work on yourself a little. Thomas the […]

The great Brandeisian façade—black mold

Despite the hard-earned academic acclaim Brandeis receives as an institution it has continuously sat at #48 on ugliest college campuses in America. As described by the college reviewers from COMPLEX magazine, despite Brandeis hiring one of the most renowned modern architects of the twenty first century, Eero Saarinen, his skill was not enough to pull […]

The Great Brandeisian Façade – Building Accessibility

Despite the hard-earned academic acclaim Brandeis receives as an institution it has continuously sat at #48 on the list of the ugliest college campuses in America. As described by the college reviewers from COMPLEX magazine, despite Brandeis hiring one of the most renowned modern architects of the twenty-first century, Eero Saarinen, his skill was not […]

The Great Brandeisan Façade

Despite the hard-earned academic acclaim Brandeis receives as an institution it has continuously sat at #48 on the list of the ugliest college campuses in America. As described by the college reviewers from COMPLEX magazine, despite Brandeis hiring one of the most renowned modern architects of the 21st century, Eero Saarinen, his skill was not […]

Being patient and taking your time

The word spoken all too often in the past two years has been COVID-19: A topic which has been beaten to death in every which way and is never absent from conversations and observations alike. It has been without a doubt the single greatest impact on life in its mere two-year infancy and appears as […]

Owl horoscopes

Out of duty to my friends and you guessed it! A lack of content, I present to you all some horoscopes for the Owls on the We Wear Blue shirt. May I first commend Brandeis for getting rid of the owl as our mascot yet still using it. Good job, guys. Really teaching your students […]

A review of life in Rosie

The Rosenthal Quad is in every way the epitome of Brandeis housing in that it can be described in the same way as the sixth season of New Girl: “eh”. Although Rosie comes in as the second-best place to live for sophomores, Skyline takes top honors, Rosie has difficulty maintaining its second place standing. As […]

Rugby, all around you

“Because I’d support a hooker, and you’d support a hooker, we’d all support a hooker together!” You may not understand the reference made there, or generally support the hooker industry, but just as those two props are supporting that poor hooker in the middle; rugby is the prop on which a lot of society relies […]