How to Halloween during the coronavirus
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again! Yes, that’s right—it’s getting close to that time to let your hair down, let it all hang out and just let it be … Sorry, I couldn’t think of a third one to finish the set. Halloween is coming, and it is the night when caution is thrown […]
Universal agreement: rank choice voting
It seems in every political debate from presidential all the way to representative, a highly empathetic question is always asked. It follows the same structure every year but changes in what kid it comes from, where and what the response is. The question is always along the lines of: “whenever I turn on the […]
Brandeis and the PR dilemma in the year of COVID-19
You do not have to be a major in marketing or, in fact, a college student to know this self-evident truth about Brandeis—Brandeis public relations does not exist. There is no better example of this than the fact that the statue of Louis Brandeis does not have a mask on. For God’s sake Brandeis, what […]
Zoom class stereotypes
Seems like yesterday when we all moved into campus during the mid-August heat. All of us and our one move-in helper ran bags and boxes of our stuff up multiple floors. We came down all sweaty and wanting to take our masks off for just a moment to breathe, and there was DCL, “unable” to […]
The Brandeis dining staff—worth taking a bullet for?
Sodexo—some of us love it, some of us hate it. Actually, wait, no take that back, all of us hate it. But regardless of our unanimous opinion on the food and the fact that we all know Sodexo is only here because the coronavirus forced Brandeis to stay with the dining they had and not […]
An extrovert’s quarantine thoughts: Adam and Eve
Last time I wrote one of these articles, the Brandeis community had just been sent home as lockdowns began to occur around the world and in, well, certain parts of this beautiful country. But regardless, as introverts saw the world turn into a paradise of no social gatherings or events, myself and other extroverts became […]
From my desk to yours
I am sitting at my desk at home staring directly at a blank Word document. No words, no nothing, not even a title or date. From the other side of my bedroom wall, I can faintly hear my brother’s music as it tries desperately to meld with the music I have on. From below me, […]
Tommy Time
Q: “Why am I crying in da slut cave?” A: I feel a personal responsibility to respond to this because I can only imagine what position someone must be in to ask such a question. I guess I will start by asking it back, for what reason on God’s green f*cking Earth are you crying […]
Tommy Time
Welcome to the first Tommy Time: an anonymous Q&A column where I will answer all of your questions to the best of my ability, possibly with some humor here and there! Considering this is the first one, I want to make it special and take the time to answer this question seriously. After all, if […]
Horoscopes for the coming week
Well here we are folks, it’s 2020. The age of science, and here we all are believing that Mercury being in retrograde actually means something important in our lives. So I thought, why not take advantage of this great opportunity to throw science out the window and give people advice. I hope these little suggestions […]
Why am I here?: Disappointment
Hello North Quad Team, As the unofficial representative of the student body, I would like to respond to the egregious claims made of us. First of all, yes, break was very relaxing thank you very much, and as far as I am concerned the semester is alright so far. Thanks for asking. Now let’s get […]
Why am I here?: Politics on campus
On Tuesday, Jan. 21, the third impeachment trial in American history began. President Donald J. Trump is being impeached with two articles which are finally being debated on the Senate floor. As the good liberals we are here at Brandeis, all the buzz was about the proceedings of the trial. Trump this, history that, you […]
Why am I here?: Class syllabus
Welcome, students, to your first day of class. I am thrilled to be teaching “Those Sexy Victorians” to you this semester, as I am sure you are excited to take off all the layers of this course. Before we read the syllabus, I will quickly introduce myself. My name is Harold Sackrider but you can […]
Why am I here?: Traveling during breaks and going off campus
Over breaks, such as the winter one we were all on or perhaps for weekend getaways to get off campus, many students use Airbnb to find cheap places to stay. While Airbnb is a wonderful service, I can’t help but be confused by some of the long and confusing things hosts include in their guides. […]
Why am I here?: Winter without snow days
After just two days of snow, what was open green space on Friday is now white fields of snowmen. Not to my surprise, Brandeis students from places that do not get snow were more than happy to see it, perhaps for the first time. They went outside and made snow angels and snowmen. They were […]
Why am I here?: A Catholic at ‘Jewish Harvard’
If your eyes are immediately wondering what this article is because of the title, then I have old-timey click-baited you into reading this. Let’s face it: You’re this far into the article, which is literally two sentences, but it’s too deep to give up. So, let me explain the title by telling you all a […]
Why am I here?: Brandeis mattresses
The fall semester has reached its halfway point and by now (hopefully) every first-year has determined that no foam pad can save you from the horror that is the blue concrete box Brandeis calls a mattress. On move-in day, if you were like me, you got no sleep the night before the move and had […]
