The missing funds from the Vagina Club were found, Director of Communications Brian Paternostro '07 told The Hoot, in an unnamed Senator's bank account. Much of the funds, said Paternostro, were spent by the student in an off-campus party. Union Judiciary has been assigned to the case.

The Film Studies department will now offer courses in Film Production, Editing, Acting for Directors and Writers, Networking, and Advanced Screenwriting, after being accepted by the Undergraduate Curriculum Committee, Paternostro added.

Modfest will be reinstated before finals, Paternostro said. The tentative date for the event is April 13. “It's looking like its going to be a sweet party. I'm so psyched, it'll be even bigger than Purple Rain,” he said.

The Brandeis Comic Book Club won the Union “Best Club of 2007” award, earning the club a $5,000 grant. “I am uber-psyched,” said Gabrielle Fein '08, Secretary for the Club. “We can buy over 100 books in our library for this!”

Hoot columnist Michael Sitzman '07 has written a book called Horseradish and Sauerkraut: My Thoughts on Life, which will be published by the Harvard Press. A review by the New York Times has said the book is both “exciting” and “spell-binding.” Sitzman said that “I'm really amazed, really astounded that this could happen. Thank-you to everyone here who has made this all possible.”

Kevin Montgomery '07 was named “Person of the Year” by the administration. “He's just so amazing, that Kevin,” said President Jehuda Reinharz. “He brought Jimmy Carter to campus, and been a model student, and everything else. He's been just what the school needs. The donors just love him!”

*Note: This is part of an April Fool's joke.*