I recently had a conversation with a gym bro who told me he called himself a traditionally masculine buff guy, but he wanted to start wearing dresses and other traditionally female clothes. This might sound unlikely, someone at the epitome of maleness wanting to embrace something traditionally feminine. It was anonymous, so I have no idea who he was, but I can assure you that this did happen. Maintaining his anonymity, he was eager to start expressing himself, and I encouraged him to do so. While I obviously do not know who this person is, sharing this moment felt essential to reinforce a simple message that, at the end of the day, clothes have no gender.
Gyms are often known to be breeding grounds for a certain type of masculinity—the type that is very macho, conservative, and stereotypically hyper-masculine. They tend to create an atmosphere of traditional masculinity that pushes some people away and pulls others in, putting them into a confined space of expectations about how a man should behave. This has impacted young boys in particular, contributing to the notable shift to the right we see in Gen Z men. As someone who has never fit that rigid mold, I have always found gym culture to be an utterly fascinating space. Lately, they have also become breeding grounds for conservative manosphere values to take root. Conservatives have, of course, always revered the traditionally masculine superheroes like Superman for their strength, courage, and muscle, but have often looked past the actual ideals they stand for: equality, immigrants’ rights, and anti-corporate greed. The traditional concept of masculinity is unfortunately often somewhat surface-level and appearance-based in conservative spaces.
Why is it that a piece of fabric can be perceived as so emasculating? How did the standards for masculinity change so much that pink went from being an iconic boy color to the quintessential girl color? What is it about picking up heavy objects that makes people believe that they can define the ultimate expression of gender? These are the questions we all need to sit with and critically examine to understand the roots of these biases.
Historically, skirts, makeup, and heels were all created for men. Today, however, the only men regularly wearing them tend to be queer and already comfortable breaking away from traditional norms. At the end of the day, I believe that this issue is tied to gender equity and women’s rights. When a woman acts or dresses masculinely, it is generally seen as acceptable because masculinity is still subconsciously viewed by society as superior to femininity. Through that lens, it becomes obvious why a man might hesitate to wear a dress: it would lower his perceived social standing. The juxtaposition of a gym bro in a dress would simply be too strong in today’s culture that many would view it as nothing more than a gag for a TikTok rather than a genuine act of self expression.
Next time that you pick out an outfit to wear, consider the social forces you are either conforming to or rebelling against. Every piece of fabric tells a story, so what will yours be?
