It is a truth that should be universally acknowledged that a sandwich is only as good as its ratio. What ratio, you ask? The ratio of bread to filling. You see there is a very distinct ratio that must be kept between bread and its filling and it’s not 1:1. It’s got to be at least 5:2. I actually don’t do math but if you know you know and if you don’t well sorry. Anyways, here’s this week’s ranking. It is of 37 sandwiches I found on a list online and one more that I randomly thought of.
- Smørrebrød
When I read this I originally thought it was a s’more, but with two pieces of bread instead of graham crackers. I then looked it up and realized I was not close at all. I haven’t tried this before but it didn’t look that appealing to me.
- Muffuletta sandwich
I also have never tried this before. I looked it up and realized that it had olives. I do not like olives, so 37 it goes.
- Bun Kabab
So then … It’s not a kabab. It’s in a bun, not kabab. Kabab no bun, this have bun, NOT KABAB.
- Jambon Beurre
This is the last sandwich I have never tried on this list. However, I have to admit that this one does not look bad. I just can’t rank it higher because I haven’t eaten it before. It’s pretty simple. You just put ham and butter on a baguette. How can that not be at least okay?
- Smoked Salmon Sandwich
I actually like smoked salmon. Just not on a sandwich. End of story.
- Spaghetti Sandwich
STOP PUTTING THINGS THAT DON”T BELONG ON SANDWICHES IN SANDWICHES – Victoria Morrongiello ’23
- Ham Sandwich
This list is going to get really confusing because it appears as if there are a lot of repeats. It seems like there are a lot of sandwiches that you could consider to be a ham sandwich. Also there are a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches that we will get to.
- Aloo Sandwich
Haloo to you.
- Meatloaf Sandwich
Just eat meatloaf and eat a sandwich. Two positives make a negative. I don’t make the rules.
- Egg Salad Sandwich
I think my only issue with it is a lack of consistency. I have had many good ones and really terrible ones.
- Mozzarella In Carrozza
I am going to be honest. This is just like a different grilled cheese.
- Bacon Egg & Avocado Breakfast Bagel
This is a very hit or miss sandwich for me. As many people already know, I do not like breakfast. However, sometimes breakfast sandwiches hit different.
- Tuna Melt
When I was growing up I did not eat a lot of tuna. Recently, I actually had my first tuna melt and I have to say it’s a bit underwhelming. I think tuna is good, but I just may not be a fan of fish on a sandwich.
- Fried Bologna Sandwich
No.
- Shrimp Po Boy Sandwich
This is another case of seafood on a sandwich. Shrimp is good, but on a sandwich it’s meh. You might think, “Why is this 24 then?” And I will respond with I have no idea.
- Pastrami Sandwich
What do you get when you put our managing editor in between two pieces of bread? A pastraMi(a Plante ’23) sandwich. I admit that was not my finest work.
- Reuben Sandwich
I forgot what a Reuben sandwich was for a second, so I had to look it up. I can’t believe I am saying this, but it has too much meat.
- Kentucky Hot Brown
This is an interesting sandwich. Bacon and turkey together is a solid combination. In general though, the sandwich can get a bit overwhelming.
- Italian Sub
In Italy they just call it a sub.
- Chicken Salad Sandwich
I had never had a chicken salad sandwich until I ordered it from Louis Deli here on campus. If I had the sandwich before, it wasn’t super memorable. It’s fine.
- Bacon Lettuce and Tomato (BLT) Sandwich
I have never had a bad BLT. The combination just works well.
- Caprese Sandwich
I don’t really like these very much. I only put it this high because Morrongiello said she would rip my arms off if I put it low. (Morrongiello did not say this)
- Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Ah, the classic. There’s nothing really special or wrong about grilled cheese. I only put it this low because I got a grilled cheese sandwich one time in the dining hall and the cheese was completely solid and not melted. It was a sad grilled cheese.
- Croque Monsieur
It’s an upgraded version of the ham and cheese sandwich.
- Monte Cristo
It’s an even more upgraded version of the ham and cheese sandwich.
- Club Sandwich
When you eat them at the club, they are just sandwiches.
- Lobster Roll
I know I said I don’t like seafood on a sandwich. However, lobster is just great so I am breaking my rule.
- Falafel Sandwich
Similar to the lobster roll, I think falafels are great. You put them in a sandwich and they are still good.
- French Dip Sandwich
I don’t know why dipping a sandwich is so cool.
- Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
The classic elementary school sandwich. It’s still a great option regardless of the time of day.
- Homemade Sloppy Joe
We do not condone cannibalism on this paper.
- Greek Chicken Gyros
In Greece they are just called chicken gyros. Okay, I promise that is the last time I will make that joke.
- Cuban Sandwich
I promised that I wouldn’t make the same joke. When you eat these at a baseball stadium and it is still very good, you know it’s a solid sandwich.
- Ice Cream Sandwich
You might be surprised to see this up here. The reason why ice cream sandwiches are in the top five is because they are one of the best desserts out there.
- Hamburger
It feels strange to rank hamburgers this high. When I am thinking about hamburgers though, I am thinking about them with unlimited toppings. In that case it’s a top five sandwich.
- Philly Cheese Steak
We get it, you’re from Philly. Why don’t we go to the Rocky Steps while we’re at it.
- Chicken Parmesan Sandwich
Just an exquisite sandwich.
- Báhn Mi
Some of you may not know what this is. Báhn Mi is a Vietnamese sandwich with a baguette, chicken and pickled vegetables. It does not sound like much, but if you have never tried it before you should.
-1. Hot Dog
Hot dogs are a sandwich. There is bread and something on it. I don’t know why I put it here. I don’t even like hot dogs.
