Welcome to the final Hoot Recommends of the semester! At this time of the year, the holiday magic is in full swing, and one of the main contributors to this is the incessant holiday music being played everywhere, from the radio to the stores. So, at The Brandeis Hoot, we are going to answer the age-old question of which holiday songs are the best and the worst?
Michael: My favorite holiday song is “Last Christmas” by Wham. I do not partake in the custom of “Whamageddon,” where people try to avoid hearing this song, at all. “Last Christmas” is an objective banger. The iconic synth chords that open the song, plus the great vocals, make this not only an earworm, but a damn good one at that. It feels a little nostalgic, but it never fails to lift up the mood.
My least favorite song? “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” No, I will NOT be taking criticism. Listening to this song, which is played incessantly on Magic 106.7 (Boston’s local holiday music station), is enough to turn me into a Grinch myself. Yes, I know, the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes on Christmas Day. The song, however, does not reflect this at all. It is thematically and tonally out of touch with the holiday spirit. It sounds too dark and too hateful, with lyrics that would be more at home in a three a.m. Truth Social rant than anything remotely holiday-related. Nothing about presents, giving or love. Just a series of hateful diatribes—not even given BY the Grinch, but given AGAINST the Grinch. It makes no sense! Whenever it is played, it instantly dampens the mood. This song should not even be considered a holiday song. It should be removed from the airwaves instantly, Jimmy Kimmel-style. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
James: My favorite holiday song is “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid. The song was originally performed to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia. Since I am a “woke” liberal, you may expect me to be offended by the song’s lyrics, but they are simply too funny to be offensive. If you’re someone who doesn’t pay attention to the lyrics of songs, listen to it or look them up. How can you not laugh at lyrics like “there’s a world outside your window, and it’s a world of dread and fear, where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears” and “the Christmas bells that ring there are the claiming chimes of doom.” Perhaps the reason why I don’t find these offensive is because the song was truly intended to help people in Africa, regardless of how stereotypically the continent is portrayed. However, nothing gets you into the holiday spirit like hearing a song with the words “tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you” or “the greatest gift they’ll get this year is life.” My least favorite is “All I Want for Christmas is You” because I’m tired of hearing it in every single store I enter.
Eva: I’m a big fan of anything pop-punk, so Fall Out Boy’s “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” is definitely my favorite holiday song. Being fully honest, I like any music they make, so it makes sense that my favorite holiday song is from them. I also really enjoy Bleachers’ “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call,” and the sort-of response by Alex Crichton titled “Merry Christmas, i miss you.” Those two are beautiful independently, and even better when put in context of each other. They are so sad, and I love them dearly. Not to shade Taylor Swift, but her producer beat her in the sad song competition; Jack Antonoff (Bleachers) is, in fact, that good. On the other hand, I refuse to listen to “Last Christmas” by Wham. As someone with a five-year win streak for Whammageddon, I want nothing to do with it.
Chloe: I really don’t like most Christmas music; if you ask my mom, I am the Grinch. I don’t hate Christmas, I just want Christmas to stay during Christmas time and not interrupt my turkey consumption. So, I will argue for “Hallelujah,” specifically the version performed by Jeff Buckley. It’s a classic. It sounds like it’s a religious song, but it’s actually about sex. Peak Christmas. For songs I don’t like, most of them. More specifically, I can’t stand “Baby, It’s Cold Outside;” it’s old, it’s creepy and it’s annoying. Special shoutout to the biggest earworm, “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.”
Ethan: My go-to Christmas classics depend on the mood I’m in. When I need the potent elation of the holiday season, I’ll pick “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams, and when I’m resting by a fire with a cup of hot cocoa, I enjoy “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Frank Sinatra. Sinatra’s entire Christmas backlog is worth listening to, if I’m being honest. As for the worst of the worst, I honestly don’t get the hate for “All I Want For Christmas is You.” I’ve worked in retail, and there are certainly worse things to play on loop than Mariah Carey. Instead, I nominate “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney, a terrible song by a great artist that has been stuck in my head for years. It’s so bad.
Anna Jane: To be honest, I don’t really listen to Christmas music. It could be that I don’t celebrate, so the only time I listen to Christmas music is when “All I Want for Christmas” by Mariah Carey is playing everywhere. I kind of got worn out of Christmas music. Except for “Last Christmas” by Wham. I love “Last Christmas” by Wham.
Jenna: Can I be so honest? I don’t care. My life is in shambles, and if I have to hear Mariah Carey say “It’s time” at a pitch that would kill the nearest pigeon, I think I will lose all sense of self and fall into the void. The only holiday song I like is the Adam Sandler Hanukkah song. Also, when I was a kid, I sang a rendition of “Last Christmas” by Wham as my phone voicemail and got bullied. Ethan says I shouldn’t use the Hoot Recommends as my vent piece … I already did so, that’s that. *Ethan will no longer be contributing to this publication until further notice*
