Hello again, our most valuable Hoot readers. For the past several weeks, our country’s greatest athletes competed in the Winter Olympics in Milan. Despite none of us being anywhere close to athletic enough to even have a chance to qualify, our editors have some strong opinions about the games. So, for this week’s edition of Hoot Recommends, we are sharing our favorite winter Olympic sports.
Chloe: I have two favorites: my favorite sport based on its concept, and my favorite sport to watch. Curling is such a dumb idea, and I love it so much. Like, YES, let’s use a specific science trick to slide almost-balls of granite across the ice. The cherry on top is that every team looks like a group of parents out for a chill weekend with The Boyz. For realsies though, I love ice skating. I have watched at least some of the Olympic ice skating performances every winter Olympics for as long as I can remember. Ice skating is a demonstration of intense skill, focus, and artistry. Personally, I would love to do Skeleton, the one where you go down an ice track headfirst at upwards of 90 miles per hour. Not because I think I would be good, but because I think that’s how you can eliminate all fear from the human body. (P.S. I feel really bad for Ilia Malinin, the quadgod himself).
Michael: When I was a child, I used to love playing the ski jump game on Wii Fit, and suffice to say, the real thing looks just as cool. The way the skiers fly into the air after hurtling down a slope at incredible speed always feels exhilarating. Then they seem to hover, just avoiding the ground as they zoom along into the green zone. It feels like the closest that mankind can get to flight without an airplane. But there’s another reason. What other sport do you know of that has a penis enlargement scandal? No, I’m not making this up. Apparently, there are allegations that ski jumpers are injecting their penises with acid in order to qualify for bigger suits and thus get better aerodynamics. If that doesn’t convince you that ski jumping is the coolest sport in the world, I don’t know what will.
Richard: I must admit, I think I’ve seen more promos for the Milan Olympics than the actual games themselves. That said, I think if I had to choose, I’d go with bobsledding. I love an Olympic sport that’s basically a glorified version of going down the Farber hill on a cardboard box (or if you’re lucky—thank you, Sarabeth—a blue plastic sled). Plus, the captain of the Israeli bobsledding team, AJ Edelman, has a brother, Alex, who’s one of my favorite comedians. So yeah, bobsledding. And as far as what sport I think I could play. Well, in 2028, flag football is coming to Los Angeles for the summer games. Just ask my former middle school flag football team defensive coordinator, Jay, about my flag-grabbing abilities, and you’ll discover why that’s the obvious choice for me.
Ethan: I think shooting events are my favorite. I’ve got a weird soft spot for shooting sports in general; there’s something really mesmerizing about someone nailing clay pigeons with such incredible accuracy. I’m definitely biased, since shooting is also a sport I have some experience in, but that’s okay! That said, the best of the shooting events is most definitely biathlon, because I simply cannot fathom the skill necessary to complete an intense series of skiing trials AND shoot small moving targets. I’d have an easier time shooting pigeons after getting spun around 20 times!
James: I watched a lot of the Olympics during the break, so I got some exposure to just about every sport. However, by far the most entertaining of this year’s Olympics was hockey. Team USA won the gold medal in both the men’s and women’s hockey! Two for two, baby! Not only did Team USA win both gold medals, but they won them both in overtime. I don’t usually watch much hockey (unless the Bruins make the playoffs), but these games had me locked in all week. Unfortunately, certain political activities by the men’s team after the Olympics have slightly spoiled the fun of their gold medal win. But the fact that we destroyed our greatest rival, Team Canada, in overtime twice still makes hockey the best sport in this winter’s Olympics.
Jenna: This is the first Olympics where I watched several hours of content in a variety of sports (thank you to my roommate Elienne for having Peacock and to Peacock for its easy-to-follow Olympics coverage). The sport I kept coming back to was figure skating. The more I learned about how each move has its own score and the pressure on Ilia Malinin, the more excited I became to watch how everything unfolded (shocking to say the least!). A surprise to me, however, was how captivated I was by women’s snowboarding. The silly terminology, such as “goofy stance,” to the joy the athletes and commentators brought to the half pipe, became a highlight of my Olympics experience. Chloe Kim was so unbelievably good. It was nice to watch a sport, unlike figure skating, where I could actually tell if the person was doing well because there were clear visual cues, such as how smooth their movements were or how much air time they achieved. Overall, I found the Olympics really inspiring and loved everything about the opening ceremony and how passionate all the athletes were for their respective countries. Looking forward to sneaking into the next one …
